Thursday, September 6, 2012

Updates and random thoughts

* Thanks for your encouragement and suggestions on my last few posts. Weeks 8-10 were ROUGH. Not necessarily more difficult than those early weeks - I was usually getting more sleep at least - but I think I had just thought things SHOULD have been easier by then, and when they weren't I hit a wall. Plus it just seemed like new issues kept coming up... what a roller coaster!

* Breastfeeding. Whew. I didn't really think we were having problems and then suddenly it was a major problem. J went from occasionally fussing at the b.reast to screaming during almost every feeding (just not the middle of the night or early morning ones). He even refused to nurse a couple times. :( I worked with a lactation consultant who thought all things pointed to lower supply (especially factoring in the slow weight gain). I pumped after every feeding for 10 days and fed him what I pumped to supplement his nursing sessions. But I never saw much of an increase, and the amount he wanted after nursing was more than I could keep up with, so about two weeks ago we supplemented with formula. Supplementing (with br.east milk or formula) has made J gain a ton of weight and he is a much happier guy! He has learned that he WILL get full, so he doesn't freak out as much while nursing (although it's still a little hit or miss, but much better).

* Of course, getting to the point of introducing formula was very emotional. The whole situation was a huge stress, and I was so scared that once we did that my supply would drop even more and it would be the beginning of the end of Breastfeeding. I can't tell you how many tears I shed. But now that we crossed that line and J is doing so much better, I feel like I e been able to let go a little. I'm taking it one day at a time, trying to pump when I can, and not thinking about all the what-ifs. He gets 4-8ozs of formula per day depending on how much I can pump.

* Like I mentioned above, James has been a happier guy lately. Probable because his little tummy is nice and full, but I also think he is just growing by leaps and bounds and transitioning from newborn to infant. Last week (he was 11 weeks) was an absolute delight and I started to feel like we might be able to do this, haha! He even slept 8-9 hour stretches most nights!

* This week (12 weeks) has not been as great. He seems to be regressing - more difficult to get to sleep and lots of night wakings. We are trying to be patient and just know that babies are constantly changing, but it's almost harder after last week was so amazing

* At what point do I just bite the bullet and buy some jeans in a bigger size?! I confess I am still wearing my maternity ones although I am do ready to be done with them. I have 9 lbs. until I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but my body is just so different! I actually can squeeze into my old jeans, but they are low rise, which both shows my crack now and gives me a muffin top - yikes.

* I have a recurring nightmare that I brought James into our bed in the middle of the night and have lost him! The ironic part is that he had only slept in our bed once for part of a night out of desperation, but we don't co-sleep. Yet I constantly have this dream. My husband said I even woke him up the other night and asked him where James was. When he told me he's in his room, I was confused and thought he was in our bed. Ha!

* James seems to be loosely falling into a napping/ sleeping pattern. I had thought I might be a mom who scheduled a little more, but that idea was long gone as I struggled through those early weeks.

And a few cute pictures of my sweet boy!


Jennifer said...

At 6 months post-partum I finally bought new jeans. I lost all the weight - actually more than all the weight - but my body has changed shape a bit. I say don't wait that long. Just go to Old Navy and get yourself a comfortable pair of pants. I wish I'd done it sooner.

Anonymous said...

Ahhh, James is such a cutie pie!

I must say I also thought I would schedule routines more, but we also had a rough time for the first couple of months. Just do your best and don't listen too much to other moms stories. Do what you think is best for your child.

It does get better, I promise, and it should be soon.

Michele said...

I joke with my hubs that low rise jeans are forever gone. Bobby and Maya are on the cusp of 3, I weigh what I did in high school (I graduated 14+ years ago!), and low rise jeans are never going to be my friend again! Sadly, it's full coverage these days. :)

Hillary said...

We never once had Colbie in bed with us and the hubs and I both had that same reoccurring losing the baby in bed dream for months. I think C was finally about 8 months old when I stopped. It's terrifying, right?!!?

Julia said...

Hi Hillary!

Couple of things... :) 1) PLEASE don't feel bad about formula supplementing! Obviously you're doing your very best, and any amount of breastmilk is a gift. Great job with the incredible perseverance! 2) Buy the jeans in a size up. Ugh, it's so hard. But wearing jeans that fit made me feel SO much better, even though they were bigger. 3) I have those dreams too. I wonder if they're universal? I wake up in a panic some nights as well, and wake my husband up with the same questions. James is adorable!

Debbie said...

I bf'd my first for three months, my second for 6, and my third for 9. I have nothing against formula, it just happened to be what worked best for our family at the time. Obviously, the key is making baby happy - and you are absolutely doing that!

As far as the jeans go, get spanx (that will help w the muffin top), or just get at least one pair that fit well. In the early days, i always felt better about myself if I had decent fitting clothes, showered, and wore a little make-up :)

The Hansens said...

My daughter (4 months today) also started "regressing" with sleep patterns around 12 weeks. From what I've heard and read, the 3 month growth spurt is a biggie, so night-wakings can occur. (Just FYI, the 4 month spurt is also a biggie - some even call it the 4 month sleep regression!) BUT it should get better after a week or two. I was also frustrated when she started waking in the middle of the night, so don't feel bad. It has now been several weeks since I've had to feed her during the night though. When she wakes, she usually just needs a little help resettling.

You are doing a great job! And your little guy is adorable! :) said...

I'm glad to hear that things are going better :)

I would buy the jeans in a bigger size. It takes a bit for that pouch to go back but in the meantime having pants that fit right just makes you feel more put together. I just put on jeans I bought after I had C and they're way too big now.

I supplemented with formula for both girls. I didn't really struggle with it. I wanted to be able to leave the house/start school/have my dh bond with them during feedings. In the end it's whatever is best for your baby and your family.

He's getting so big! :)

Carrie said...

My baby is 7 months old, and I have about 10 lbs I still would like to lose, but it is so hard! I finally gave in and bought some jeans in a size bigger and I actually felt really good in them because they were "regular" jeans...even if they were bigger than I wanted. My body is definitely a little flabbier than it was pre-pregnancy, but I've come to terms with that :) When it gets cooler here in Texas, I plan to do a lot of walking around my neighborhood. When I do reach my goal weight, I plan to buy myself a really nice pair of jeans...right now I just got some from the Banana Republic outlet.

Jessica R said...

HE IS SO CUTE!!!! Oh my goodness. So cute, Hillary, so cute I can hardly stand it. I look at his little face and think about how wanted he was and what a huge blessing he is.

I totally understand how you feel about starting to supplement, but a few bottles of formula a day truly is no big deal, and moreover, it sounds like it was absolutely the 100% RIGHT decision. You made the right call even though it was difficult for you. Good job, Mommy! :)

Just so you're prepared, watch out for the four month sleep regression that another commenter mentioned. My DD slept all night from 4 weeks til 3.5 months, and then was up 1-2x a night until 9 months. Just know it's coming. Some say it is because they're so much more alert and not a sleepy newborn anymore. Who knows.

You are doing a phenomenal job with him. Please give yourself grace to learn as you go :) We all feel like failures sometimes I think, and that's okay. God hasn't called us to be perfect parents, only to show His love to our children and to point them to Him. (I am still working hard to grasp that.)


Ashley said...

You should look into the wonder weeks. Babies have a wonder week at week 12 where they typically regress, are extra clingy and fussy, but it's followed with a new set of skills. My little guy has followed the wonder weeks to a T and it has been so helpful to understand what is going on, and also to prepare myself for upcoming fussy periods.

JNS said...

I had that exact same dream! I'd wake up "looking" for my daughter in the bed and she would be in her bassinet a few feet away. I'd be so freaked out.