Monday, January 30, 2012

OB appointment today

Just a quick post to record another (happily) uneventful OB appointment today. I was pleasantly surprised to see the doctor since I thought I had heard the receptionist say she was in surgery today. I really like my OB. :)

My boy's heart rate was 140 and was very steady and even. This was the first appointment that I had my uterus measured, and she said it is perfectly on track for a twenty week measurement.

Feeling him move frequently gives me a lot of reassurance before and between appointments. Of course the next milestone I am looking forward to is viability at 24 weeks! My mom had an incompetent cervix and delivered me at 28 weeks... which makes me a little more nervous about pre-term labor, even though everything I have read says it is random and not hereditary. But I am trying to enjoy each day, entrust our boy to the Lord, and not worry.

Friday, January 27, 2012

{20 weeks}

Twenty weeks! Half way! How is it even possible?! So thankful!

20 weeks
**The belly is certainly growing...!! :)

Size of baby: small cantaloupe (approx. 6.5" and 10.6 oz.)

Total Weight Gain: +9 lb
Continuing symptoms: Round ligament pain (a lot more!) and weakened immune system (hence getting the third cold I have had in the last 15 weeks)
New symptoms this week: It's not really "new" because it's round ligament pain, but there was one day where it was just so bad this week! I think it was after sitting in an uncomfortable chair at the hospital all day visiting my father-in-law. 
Maternity Clothes: I tried on a few of my non-maternity clothes to see what still fits and loved finding a few more things that look cute with my belly! There are other non-maternity things that I can wear, but I don't want to because the belly is less defined and I feel like I just look fat.

Sleep: I think I am starting to feel more uncomfortable when I sleep, and I wake up with my hip feeling sore. I also felt really hot and sweaty during a few nights this week. The past two nights I think I had insomnia, because I went to bed feeling really tired but I just couldn't fall asleep. I'm not totally sure if this is a pregnancy thing, due to my cold, or what...
What I'm Eating: Normal eating habits
Cravings: I made a pan of brownies for my husband's small group and they didn't eat them all...but they have been slowly disappearing this week :)
Movement: I can't even say how much I am loving feeling the baby move! He is definitely getting stronger, and I am noticing the movement more even if I am sitting down (not just lying down). Last night he was really going crazy in there and my husband and I loved watching/ feeling him together.

Special pregnancy moments: We have never had a nickname for the baby, but lately I have loved referring to him as "our boy" when I'm talking to my husband, or "my boy" if I'm thinking about him or talking to the baby by myself. My husband continues to marvel at my growing belly and keeps calling it "beautiful" in an awed tone of voice. :)

I also got my second stranger comment - but first one to me directly - this week. I was picking up a prescription for my husband, and the pharmacist pulled out a few mini peanut butter cups and gave me three and said one was for me, one for my husband, and one for the baby.

And I'm half way!! The first trimester dragged by so slowly, but the second is flying by so far. My friend had her baby this week and I went to the hospital to visit, and it made me that much more excited to meet our boy, see his personality and what he looks like, and get to hold him in my arms. I am loving being pregnant so far, but it is exciting to know that I am halfway there to meeting our boy!

Friday, January 20, 2012

{19 weeks}

19 weeks
**It's a rainy day so the lighting for the photo is darker...

Size of baby: heirloom tomato (approx. 6" and 8.5 oz.)

Total Weight Gain: +9 lb - I'm not worrying about weight, but it was still nice to stop the 2 lb. per week gain from the last 3 weeks and only gain one this week!
Continuing symptoms: Round ligament pain ( a lot more!), br.east enlargement, mild nose congestion
New symptoms this week: one braxton hick contraction - it scared me! But I read they can start around 20 weeks, and I'm not too far from that. I did get nervous about pre-term labor, but since I've gone so many days without any more I think everything is fine.
Maternity Clothes: Loving a few of my maternity pieces. I also discovered one non-maternity sweater I own that actually looks really cute with my belly, so that is nice since I don't have any warm maternity sweaters.

Sleep: Sleeping well.
What I'm Eating: Normal eating habits. I think I actually ate a lot more during the first trimester and I feel like I am eating like I did pre-pregnancy now (except I do still have a glass of milk before bed), yet I am gaining a lot of weight now.
Cravings: Wheat bagel with strawberry cream cheese for breakfast.
Movement: Love love love feeling our boy move! Each week the movements are getting stronger, and I almost always feel him when I am lying down. I have also felt him a few times while sitting, but I never feel him while standing or walking.

Special pregnancy moments: This section will be bittersweet this week. On Wednesday, my father-in-law went in for a relatively common procedure to open up the arteries of his heart since he was experiencing chest pain (an angioplasty). However, during the procedure a rare complication occurred that caused a piece of the plaque in his arteries to get loose and travel to his brain...resulting in a stroke. It has been a very emotional, difficult, and scary week as we initially just knew something "went wrong" and we were seriously thinking he may die, to wondering why he couldn't talk well (is it the medication?), and then to finding out he had a stroke. Thankfully it is probably a more minor stroke, but seeing somebody you love suffer and lose some of their abilities (his speech is slurred, he has double vision, and is struggling with some balance/ coordination) has been painful...but we are all trusting the Lord together.

My husband and I are very close to his parents. I have almost been surprised at how difficult this has been for me since it is not my dad but my husband's, but I have really grown to love and cherish my in-laws over the last nine years of knowing them. My husband made me so proud in how much he stepped in to help, and the way he lovingly cared for his dad alongside his mom. He slept at the hospital every night with him while we were down there to let his mom get some sleep, and was quite an advocate for his care.

So what does this have to do with pregnancy moments? My in-laws, husband, and myself had many moments where we talked about this baby, and the miracle of new life brought rays of joy to a difficult situation. One afternoon I was sitting in a waiting room with my mother-in-law and the baby was kicking the hardest I have felt yet, and she got to feel him! I know this was a special joy for her. At night when my husband was at the hospital and I was alone, I often went to bed feeling like my heart was breaking for my family, and the little guy would move and it almost felt like somebody was with me giving me a hug. I cherished his movements even more in those sad moments.

Baby boy, you have already brought so much joy to all of your family.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Celebrating our boy by shopping :)

After finding out we were having a boy, my mother in law and I went shopping to get a few special outfits. Like I said before, baby clothes are so much fun!

This first one we didn't buy - it was given to me by a dear friend. She had saved this little jacket as one of her sentimental pieces from her son and was waiting to give it to somebody special. It's sized 18-24 months so it will be awhile until he can wear it, but isn't it just darling?! It's hard to tell in the picture but it is seersucker.

This little outfit we found at a store called Naartjie. We just happened to walk by this store and at first assumed it would be a really expensive boutique store. But we were pleasantly surprised to find really cute clothes on clearance with an additional 40% off - I think we got this for $8! :)

This one was another fun purchase from Naartjie! I love rugby stripes!

Love the froggy feet on the little pants!

Love the sneaker feet and whale!

This is part of the same set as the previous one, but I love the whale sleeper, too.

A friend already gave me a bin of boy clothes. It's funny because she thought she had already passed along all of her baby clothes, but when they re-organized their garage recently she found one more bin. The items are mostly 3-6 month size, so I now have a LOT of those. I have heard from other friends that people in church will pass on baby clothes and you end up with way more than you need, so I am going to try to resist buying anything else....but it might be hard :)

Monday, January 16, 2012

Anatomy scan details and photos!

I didn't sleep too well the night before our anatomy scan, probably because I was so excited and nervous. Excited to see our baby, to find out if he or she was healthy, and to hopefully find out if we were having a son or daughter. However, I was also nervous. Although I had been feeling some movement, the movements were infrequent and still left room for me to doubt. What if we got to the ultrasound and the baby had died? This would also be the first opportunity to find out about the health and development of the baby, since we had opted not to do the NT scan. But in the midst of those fears, I knew without a doubt that this was the baby God had given to us, and we would cherish him or her no matter the health or developmental concerns. But it was still nerve wracking to not know what the day would hold!

As soon as the ultrasound began, my first fear that the baby was no longer living was to put ease as we saw movement and the ultrasound tech began taking measurements. She started with the brain, and said everything looked normal. The heart...the kidneys....the she moved through each body part my heart swelled with thankfulness and profound joy to see all is healthy so far with our little one. It was so cute, too, because the baby was laying with one arm behind his head like he was relaxing. :) The tears of joy began to flow as I silently watched the screen and tightly squeezed my husband's hand.

About halfway into the appointment she moved to measure the legs - which of course gave us a view of what may or may not be between those legs. Before she could even ask if we wanted to know the gender, I saw what looked like a pe.nis and thought, "It's a boy!" However, I second guessed myself and wondered if that could actually be the umbilical cord? (picture #2 below) Pretty soon after that the tech did ask if we wanted to know the sex, and when we answered yes she pointed to what I had thought was the boy part and announced it was a boy.

I had been SO excited to find out the gender, but in that moment it felt rather insignificant. I was simply happy beyond belief to see a healthy little one. But as she continued with the measurements and pointing out different body parts, I kept saying in my mind, "A boy!" and "A son!" and it began to sink in more. It really would not have mattered either way what sex the baby had been, but the reality that this was our baby, our boy, our son began to take shape and filled me with incredible joy. The tears flowed even more freely.

I was walking on cloud nine the rest of the day. I didn't know one could be that happy for that many hours in a row. :) We called family and texted a few friends and shared our special news. Most people were kind of shocked because everyone expected a girl.

That night before getting ready for bed my husband and I laid facing each other on the bed dreaming about life with a son. It was such a sweet time together that I will cherish always.

We are humbled and thankful for the miracle and gift that is our son!


Here are the ultrasound pictures from our anatomy scan on Thursday at 17 weeks 6 days. I have to admit that I don't think I can tell much difference between one person's ultrasound photo or another - even my own! - but it was still so amazing and special to see our baby. But it is totally fine if these are not amazing to you, haha!

This was one of the first shots - it is a "skeleton" view of his face. It's a little freaky :)

How we found out it's a boy! There's a little arrow pointing to the boy part.

Later in the ultrasound, we got a much clearer and obvious view of his pe.nis (again there is a little arrow pointing to it). The tech said he certainly isn't shy, and I admit I think this picture is pretty funny! My husband thinks it is almost too inappropriate to post on the internet, haha!

His precious little foot.

His sweet little hand waving at us. The white blob in front is the placenta blocking his face, so unfortunately we did not get a clear shot of his face.

And, last but not least, my favorite one - his profile.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Another joy!

In the last few days I have been feeling the baby a lot more frequently and with more intensity. I have loved it and had started getting excited for my husband to feel the baby, too, but had read that was more common from weeks 20-24. (I'm only 18 weeks).

However, we were laying in bed reading our Bibles this morning, and the baby was super active and some of the kicks felt quite strong. I put my husband's hand on my belly thinking there was a small chance he would feel him, too. Almost right away there was a strong kick, and I looked over at my husband to see if he had felt it.

Before I could even ask, his eyes were wide as saucers and he had pulled his hand away as though he had touched something hot! I think he was a little freaked out to feel our little guy. :). Like with many other experiences in this pregnancy, I got teary eyed with joy and wonder at this blessing. We are so thankful.

Friday, January 13, 2012

{18 weeks}

18 weeks
**I love looking more and more pregnant each week! I'm sure there will be a point that I just feel huge and uncomfortable, but I am loving it right now :)

Size of baby: a sweet potato (approx. 5.6" and 6.7 oz. - although at my ultrasound he weighed about 9 oz.!)

Total Weight Gain: +8 lb
Continuing symptoms: Round ligament pain ( a lot more!), br.east enlargement
New symptoms this week: mild nose congestion and snoring
Maternity Clothes: Wearing more maternity shirts this week - I just feel so much cuter and pregnant in them!

Sleep: Sleeping well.
What I'm Eating: Normal eating habits. I feel less hungry now than a few weeks ago, although the books say this is when you typically feel ravenous.
Cravings: I am really into homemade tacos the past two weeks (crunchy shell, ground beef with taco seasoning, refried beans, sour cream, cheese, and tomatoes - yum!)....we have had it 1-2 times per week!
Movement: YES!! I now feel certain that what I felt last week was indeed movement. Near the end of this week the movement felt more pronounced and frequent, although I still need to be lying or sitting down and quite still to notice it. Love it!!

Special pregnancy moments: Seeing my little guy for a nice, long, and thorough ultrasound! Seeing our healthy boy was such an amazing day - I couldn't stop smiling all day. My husband and I laid facing each other that night dreaming about life with a little boy and it was such a sweet time. Feeling movement more has also been a joy (and reassurance!). Buying some boy outfits to celebrate - baby clothes are seriously

Thursday, January 12, 2012

It's a....

...healthy baby BOY!!!!

All looked normal on the ultrasound, and as the ultrasound tech checked the brain, the heart, the limbs, the umbilical cord, etc. I couldn't help but cry tears of happiness the whole time! Our son! He is healthy!

Lots of ultrasound pictures to come later (including the amazingly obvious boy part!) but I am posting from my phone to let you all know right away. Thank you for your excitement and celebrating with us!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Pregnancy dreams & gender guesses

I have read that pregnancy dreams are a very common pregnancy symptom, but until last week I had had none.

However, very early on my husband starting dreaming about the baby - ha! His first dream was when I was around 8 weeks pregnant (and shortly after Halloween, which you will see is relevant). He dreamed that our baby had already been born, and was a Kit Kat bar!! Haha! In the dream our baby "Kit Kat" was in a bowl of candy mixed with other candies. My husband was eating candy from the bowl and although he knew which one was our baby, he was incredibly paranoid that he would accidentally eat our baby. This is my favorite of all of our pregnancy dreams so far!

His second dream was much more simple and realistic. He dreamed that I have birth to a baby GIRL and that she was the cutest baby he had ever seen. :) He actually woke me up during the night to tell me about his dream and that he woke up from it feeling incredibly happy. Aw! :)

I finally had my first pregnancy dream last week just before my routine OB appointment. In the dream I ended up having a simple ultrasound, but my doctor was able to tell the gender of the baby and told me it was a BOY! She said I had to wait until the anatomy scan to verify this, but that was what she thought she saw. Of course this made me hope I would get an ultrasound at my last appointment, but alas it was just a doppler check.

Last night I had another dream about finding out the gender (can you tell what I am thinking about these days, haha!). This time I was back at my OB's office (although our actual anatomy scan is with a perinatologist - all doctors in our area send pregnant women to this doctor for the anatomy scan), but some random ultrasound tech guy was going to do the ultrasound. He started, but he was clearly inexperienced and awkward about it. I got impatient and finally asked if the baby was a boy or girl, and he replied, "Hmm...I would say you have a 50/50 chance of it being either one. I can't really tell." What!? I got so frustrated in my dream. Then my OB came in and I told her the ultrasound tech was incompetent (which I am sure I could never do in real life!), and she said she would take over. However, she started doing the ultrasound but was acting really goofy and unprofessional, and I continued to get more and more frustrated! I never did get an answer to the gender question in that dream.

Since my husband had the "girl" dream pretty early on and the baby's heart beat was high, we have both been thinking this baby is a girl (obviously those are not very scientific reasons!). However, as we get closer to actually finding out I am definitely not feeling like I am confident in this guess. I have been day dreaming about having a boy this week so that I am not "set" on the idea of a girl... and I know I will be happy either way on Thursday when we find out! (And so far, based on the poll on the right you guys don't really know either - it is almost 50/50 with "boy" slightly in the lead by 3 guesses :))

Friday, January 6, 2012

{17 weeks}

17 weeks
*I do feel like I have "popped" although I am not sure exactly when it happened. Somewhere around 15-16 weeks I think, but I am definitely getting comments from friends now.

Size of baby: an onion (about 5" and 6 oz.)

Total Weight Gain: +6 lb
Continuing symptoms: Round ligament pain, br.east enlargement, feeling hungry but then really full quickly,dizziness
New symptoms this week: Not exactly a symptom but I was almost shocked to discover a faint linea nigra on my belly this week!
Maternity Clothes: I sorted through my closet this week and pulled out things that don't fit anymore or are warm weather clothes I won't fit in by the time it's warm enough. They are now boxed in the garage, and my little collection of maternity clothes is hanging in their place. I am wearing maternity jeans full-time (I might be able to wear a regular pair of jeans but it is just so much more comfortable to wear these!), but am still wearing regular shirts with an occasional maternity one thrown in just for fun.

Sleep: Sleeping well.
What I'm Eating: Normal eating habits.
Cravings: This week I really did want a hot dog and made sure I got one. I don't know if it was exactly a craving, but t was the first time I wanted something kind of random that I don't always want but normally try to resist.
Movement: Maybe?! Two days ago (at 16 weeks 5 days) I was laying flat in bed after taking a morning shower (random, I know, but I get kind of light headed after the shower sometimes...). As I laid there I felt what I would describe as a muscle spasm in my abdomen. It happened a couple times, and I suddenly wondered if that was the baby?! I texted my husband right away in my excitement. However, within the next 5 minutes I also had a muscle spasm in my hand and leg, so maybe I was just having muscle spasms. I haven't gotten too excited about it because I'm really not sure, but I have felt something similar yesterday and today as well. But maybe I have been having muscle spasms in my uterus all along, but I am just more aware now because I am looking for movement? It certainly wasn't a 'flutter' or 'butterfly' feeling - more like a little, light thump (or muscle spasm, haha).

Special pregnancy moments: Getting more comments on my little belly. Anticipating feeling movement (for sure) relatively soon. Hearing the heart beat again this week. Even the linea nigra discovery was kind of exciting in a "whoa I'm really pregnant" kind of moment. Being excited with my husband about finding out the gender next week!!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

OB appointment today!

It's barely worth posting about since the appointment was so uneventful, but hearing the heart beat and getting the reassurance that all is well with our sweet babe is pure bliss.

This was the first appointment I saw a nurse practitioner instead of the doctor. There was no ultrasound but I did hear the heart beat on the Doppler and it was in the 140's. Otherwise the appointment was short and sweet, I peed in a cup, asked a couple questions, and went on my merry way.

So thankful all is going smoothly so far!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Welcome, 2012!

Last night as my husband and I went to bed (we didn't quite make it to midnight...), he kissed me good night and said, "Happy new year mom."

We reflected on this last year and what an eventful and emotional year it was. 2011 began and I was in one of my lowest points of our infertility journey. After two surgeries between us, four IUI's, and four IVF's, I was fully grieving and processing the very real possibility that I would never be pregnant or have a biological child. We had one more surgery left and then our last IVF ahead, but in my heart I did not have much hope that anything would result in a pregnancy.

I then had another surgery to remove a fibroid, and we completed that last IVF cycle with negative results that felt like the ultimate negative. The grieving continued in full force as I sought to give my desires to the Lord and trust him to bring a child into our family. We began researching adoption, chose an adoption attorney, and became an official "waiting family." And then, just when we were about to match with a young woman considering making an adoption plan, God shocked us by the way he decided to bring a child into our family. Without any expectation of it - really, thinking it was nearly impossible - I was pregnant. And everything changed.

Whew. What a crazy, emotional, hard, and wonderful year.

And welcome, 2012. As we said good night last night, we joyfully anticipated meeting our miracle baby, becoming a mom and dad this year, and glorifying the Lord in our next season of life together.