Sunday, November 20, 2011

My cup overflows

I found out this weekend that one one of my closest friends is pregnant and only a few weeks behind me. When she told me, I jumped up and down and squealed with joy. I hugged her and immediately started dreaming of sharing this pregnancy experience and being mothers together. Wow!

It was strange to think that only a few months ago, pregnancy announcements still brought those dreaded feelings of sadness, jealousy, and longing. It was almost like an out of body experience to now be the girl who delights in a friend's pregnancy, but it felt so good. I am thankful.

In full honesty, I think much of my joy was for selfish reasons. Of course I am happy for her and thankful for the miracle of new life, but, ironically, this was a surprise pregnancy for her and she is still processing the emotions that come with that. As she told me, she was not beaming with joy, but her face displayed shock that I know she is struggling with. She is thankful for her pregnancy, but it is interesting to walk through the opposite of infertility with somebody. As infertiles our "plan" to conceive fell apart, but for her, her "plan" to wait to start a family has been dramatically changed, too. (Also, the poor thing is pretty nauseous and sick. Seeing her made me extra thankful for my lack of morning sickness.)

But back to my selfishness. :) As months turned to years while trying to conceive, I felt like everybody was passing me by. That all of my friends would be mothers without me, and that by the time I did become a mother their children would be much older. And this has been true with some friends, but I have also been amazed at how many sweet friends are pregnant right now.

And now this friend! She is one of my closest friends, but one that I never expected to raise children with. She is younger than me, and my husband and I were trying to conceive before she was even married. I knew she wanted to wait to start a family, so it always seemed like one way or another I would enter parenthood well before her. Really, if both of our "plans" had worked out - if we had both conceived when we wanted to - I would have an almost 3 year old and she would still be a couple years away from trying to conceive.

But now! Now we are both pregnant and due within weeks of each other. I have faced years of grief and she is processing her new reality, but both of us shared yesterday what a tremendous joy it is that we get to walk this new road together. Finding out she is pregnant was almost as amazing, unexpected, and joyful as when I found out I was pregnant. God giving me this pregnancy was a dream come true, and now giving me this dear friend to become a mother with feels like another dream come true.

God has blessed me beyond belief. I have already felt like my cup is overflowing with blessings, and now it is spilling all over the place. I am so thankful. God's timing is beautiful.

5 comments:

Betty Rubble said...

I love this!!!

evsmarie said...

What a blessing! I happen to be sharing this pregnancy with one of my best friends as well as 3 other acquaintances. But most exciting? My SIL! She and my BIL have been trying for 3 years and got their BFP after IVF #1. She is exactly 2 weeks behind me. It is such an incredible blessing be able to share the ups and downs & fears and celebrations with someone close to you!

My SIL and I shared our infertility struggle for quite a while and it was hard when I got pregnant and she still hadn't. It was even worse when I got pregnant the 2nd time without difficulty (and unexpectedly - I know, kick me now) during the middle of their IVF cycle. I cried at the thought of telling them. So, for us to be pregnant at the same time is a double blessing. It sounds as though many of your friends have been sensitive to your struggle - but what JOY to be on the other side!!!

Carrie said...

That is so awesome!!! One of my close friends is about a month behind me and it's been so nice to compare notes and talk about our pregnancies together. I know your friend is probably truly happy, just shocked right now, but maybe she will see what a true miracle her pregnancy is. I hope that doesn't sound rude...it's just that I think a lot of people who have not gone through infertility take getting pregnant for granted. I know WAY too much about my body now, and it truly is a miracle that anyone gets pregnant!! It's just going to take a little bit of time for your friend to process it. Y'all are going to have so much fun going shopping together and planning your nurseries!!! And yes, God's timing REALLY is perfect...we just sometimes can't see that right away.

Anonymous said...

(Wordslikeswords)

This is such a great story. Being able to share in a pregnancy with someone is such a special blessing. I had a friend who started trying a few months after us. A year later, neither of us were pregnant. We went through a failed IVF and she was going through month after month of trying anf failing nautrally. I was so happy when we got pregnant on IVF #2, but it was difficult for her and she didn't talk to me for a few weeks.

Then I got a text message from her that said "We're having a baby!". It was so amazing for us to be pregnant together like we'd always wanted - her 2.5 weeks behind me. I'm so thankful to have someone to share all of this with, and to be able to advise her a little and to be able to get to take our kids out together.

For what it's worth, I'm having a girl, and she just found out she's having a boy. Her MIL is already arranging the wedding lol. There are just so many joys to look forward to. I'm so happy for you!

Tk said...

Congrats!!! I haven't been on in a while and am so happy to see that your expecting!!!! You have a lot to be thankful for this week :). Lots of prayers being sent your way for an amazing pregnancy!