Thursday, October 20, 2011

One week

It has been one week since I found out I am pregnant. It feels like so much has happened in this week and our heads are still spinning. My husband has been going for two jogs a day, experiencing insomnia, and walking around with a quite a grin on his face. I have been praying like crazy for this little one, and seeking to trust God with whatever he has ahead for him or her.

One week. It feels like time is moving in slow motion. How can I make it through another week? Will the end of the first trimester ever arrive?

To answer a few questions from my last post....The RE said he can't determine exactly how far along I am or give me a due date until there is a heart beat. But based on my LMP that I am guessing is pretty accurate, I was 5 weeks 5 days yesterday (so I will be 6 weeks tomorrow). I will go in for another ultrasound on Friday, October 28 (should be 7 weeks) and am praying there is a heart beat!!

To the commenter who suggested that I am farther along then 5 weeks 5 days based on my high HCG level last Friday (6,000 at 5 weeks), that I should have seen a heart beat by now, and therefore things don't bode well for my pregnancy....well, I have a few things to say to that. First of all, I don't know what your warning was intended to do? Make me "prepared" for a miscarriage? Because, really, how can I be? All I can do is take each day at a time, trust God, and hope that this pregnancy is viable! Secondly, you are basing that on your own experience, but HCG levels can vary greatly. According to The American Pregnancy Association website, HCG levels for 5 weeks of pregnancy can range between 18 - 7,340 mIU/ml. Their website also says, "The hCG levels should not be used to date a pregnancy since these numbers can vary so widely." Also, according to the Beta Base website, at 21 DPO (which is where I would guess that I was on beta day), women have reported betas ranging from 41 to 21,000, with the median 1,248. So, yes, my HCG levels were high. Yes, I have thought about the fact that maybe what I remember about my last cycle is incorrect, I am further along, and yesterday's ultrasound was a problem. But I can't ignore the fact that an HCG of 6,000 could be normal at 5 weeks (give or take a day), that I do have a pretty decent guess about when my last period was, that a gestational sac and yolk sac are normal milestones for 5 weeks and 5 days, and this pregnancy could still be viable.



39 comments:

Beth said...

Hey Hillary- I hardley ever comment but I follow your journey and pray for you so often. I am so very excited for you! I know you are embracing each day just as you should! I wanted to encourage you- I never saw the comment, but my second pregnancy was a molar and my hcg levels were very high, this pregnancy the same thing happened, I thought for sure something was wrong and started fearing the worst...but girl I am 30 weeks and doing wonderful! My doctor told me that he was never telling me my levels again because people base WAY to much after them. You are wonderful, your picture of that baby looks perfect and today you are pregnant, God never promises us tomorrow...so we live in today! Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!

Adrianne said...

Still praying for you and your little blessing!

Selma said...

Wow why would someone leave such an insensitive comment? Well I went ahead and checked to see what my HCG levels were at around 4w5d pregnant and they were around 3300 so 6000 sounds completely normal to me!

Amy said...

Ugh, don't let someone else's negativity stress you out. Seriously, not seeing anything but a yolk sac is PERFECTLY NORMAL at 5 wks 5 days. That is why most doctors don't do ultrasounds until at least 8 weeks, because it can needlessly stress woman out.

The first trimester DRAGS (I am just getting out of the first trimester right now!) And it can be a time where your nerves are on high alert. I just always remind myself that God gave me this child and if he chose to take this little one home, I am okay with that. My children are His first! But for today I am pregnant with a beautiful little miracle growing inside of me and I will rejoice in that for today.

Adrianne said...

Oh, and I agree with Selma, people are sooooo incredibly insensitive! Good for you for calling the commenter out her statemtents!

Betty Rubble said...

Take each day as it comes! For you are correct--all the "warnings" in the world don't make things easier if they do go South, nor do they mean they will! Can't wait to follow your pregnancy!!!

Anonymous said...

So happy for your ultrasound yesterday (boo! to the sour grapes comment) You are in a good place, breathe! You and your babe are in my prayers :) So excited for you!

Erin said...

ok first of all, congrats! second of all, i *think* HCG is around 30,000 when there is a heartbeat (of course it varies)...but i'd be shocked beyond shocked if anyone saw a heartbeat at 6K...soooo early! your baby is PERFECT. You have no reason to feel otherwise so embrace this! Dont let posters make you worry. Cant wait for your next u/s!!

evsmarie said...

Psh - high HCG numbers are a great thing! ...and it's highly insensitive for anyone to suggest that they could be anything else. Especially at this point in your pregnancy.

With this pregnancy (I am 9 1/2 weeks) they tested my HCG at at 6 1/2 weeks because I had a bit of spotting. When my number came back at 34,000 they had me come right in for an ultrasound because either I was further along than I had thought or there was a possibility of multiples. Neither. Just one tiny little blob with a beating heart that was measuring right where it should have. My numbers were high with my daughter too and my Dr. had the same concerns. So be thankful for that lovely number! Praying for your next ultrasound as well!!!

Maegan said...

Delurking to say AHHH, CONGRATULATIONS!... I have followed your story for quite some time and the news of your BFP was literally the BEST thing I have seen all week!!!

After 5 years of waiting (not infertility, other issues) I found out I was pregnant in September. (!) After the initial excitement wore off I felt much the same as you do... time is crawling and LORD, PLEASE keep this baby safe! Unfortunately I can't get an ultrasound until 11 weeks or so, so I'm just leaving it in God's hands. It's struggle, but imagine the miracle that's ALREADY taken place so far! God performed that miracle and He is totally in control!

Now that I delurked I will follow you officially. : ) God bless you girl!

:- ) said...

I have followed you for a long time but have never commented. I want you to know that your Faith in the Lord can be felt through your words. So don't ever stop! And I know that God has given you this miracle when it was least expected for a reason I believe you will have a healthy pregnancy and a beautiful miracle from the Lord. I know its easier said than done but every time you start to worry ask God to give you peace in knowing he will take care of you. After I lost my baby it was so good to see in your posts how much faith you had. And Ive been told that my only chances now of having children is IVF so we are saving for it and your story gives me hope that maybe it will happen on its own :-) I know I am a stranger to you but I am a sister in Christ and I am so happy for you!

Anonymous said...

You are an inspiration! I am so very happy for you and your hubby and I can't wait to follow your journey. As to those who feel the need to be negative, let's pray that God will gladden their hearts.

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with people?! My beta was 7,000 (~5w) then 26,000 (4 days later) and only a yolk sac was visible. We weren't able to see the heartbeat until a few days after that.

You are doing just fine. Don't let idiots like that scare you. Maybe she is just jealous.

Leah said...

OF COURSE this pregnancy is viable, and I'm sorry that someone burst your bubble thinking anything else.

My best advice to you is to not indulge imagination. You know what? What happens from this point on is not in your hands. At all.

And you are so right. HCG varies HUGELY!!! And a higher beta level doesn't = healthier baby.

Praying for you Hillary. It WILL be okay.

RMCarter said...

Boo to the negative commenter. Seriously? What is the point of that? I would be encouraged by the high number and do exactly what you are doing... take it one day at a time and have hope. You want to be able to look back and say you enjoyed every day of this pregnancy (even though you might be nervous).

I am praying for your little one too. Your little miracle. :)

RMCarter said...

Oh, and in my experience the last 20 weeks go so much faster than the first 20. Well, all except week 39... that one goes so slowly! :)

Sarah said...

Ok, this made me angry, whoever posted that comment! :( HCG levels vary with each person!! I don't know why that person would have to be so negative. You just keep doing what your doing...smiling and praying! :)

Stefanie Blakely said...

As you wrote and others have confirmed, HCG levels vary so greatly that there's hardly a "normal." Around 5 weeks mine were only in the hundreds and I was convinced that this was terrible. Everything was PERFECT and my baby boy will be here in a month. Try not to even think about that comment and just look forward to your next ultrasound.

Tarah said...

What a horrible comment that person left! You keep that positive outlook, it's what gets you through these days that drag by.

I spotted almost all through my first trimester, I had a sensitive cervix so it was always a game of check out the TP after I wiped. haha.

I cannot wait to hear more about this wonderful blessing you've been given!!

Christa said...

My intention was not to suggest that you should be worried because there was no heartbeat. My main concern was that there was no fetal pole. If your doctor is fine with the results then great, I'm truly happy for you. In fact, I had moved your blog on my blog list from "Adoption" to "Pregnancy" before I ever made that comment. I'm sorry you felt offended. That was never my intention.

Melis.sa said...

yeah, I wouldn't base anything on the beta levels at all. Your u/s looked fabulous and so much develops so quickly these first weeks. Cannot wait to hear about your u/s when you're 7 weeks :) So, so excited!!! (and yes I will be saying this the entire time :))

Tami said...

There are so many variables with HCG...you really can't base anything you "should" be seeing at that point. Plus your baby could be hiding way in the back, so you can't see it, your Dr's u/s machine also plays a part in it. But I agree with others, the first trimester DRAGS. It is just such a scary time, waiting for answers, praying for the baby to grow and be strong. But you will make it. Just one day at a time, and enjoy the fact that today you are pregnant! Every time I think about you, it just reminds me that miracles DO happen! It's good to be reminded of that. :)

jschreffler said...

My HCG levels were high too and I am having a boy in Feb. after 5 years trying. Don't let them discourage you. I am sure it is completely normal and you are going to have a happy healthy baby in 34 weeks. Trust me I couldn't sleep for a few weeks but that will subside and things will move along faster.

ceecee867 said...

Hillary, all you can really do, is keep on doing what you've been doing all along..... pray :)

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to add a little reassurance on for ya- my level @ 5 weeks wes a whopping 44..that's how much they can vary..and I just put my 4 month old down for a nap. Saying prayers for you and the little one =)

Anonymous said...

You are completely right! Beta numbers only tell you that you ARE pregnant. Many people can only see a heartbeat after 6 weeks. Your peanut is just fine! My beta was 134 at 4 weeks, at 6 weeks and 7 weeks we seen one perfect little heartbeat, and at 11 weeks we actually seen TWO wiggly little babies...beta was low for twins and no heartbeat was detected, even at 7 weeks, but It happens! Enjoy this pregnancy!

Britney said...

Ignore silly comments. Trust your God.

kmjba8 said...

Hi - I'm delurking just to share my commonality with you. (I've been congratulating you from the sidelines and thanking God for whatever He has in store for you. My sister got pregnant 5 months after leaving 10- TEN! - years of infertility behind, so I believe in miracles.) Anyway, I didn't comment on the spotting because mine was pinkish rather than brown, but now I feel like I must say that with BOTH of my healthy pregnancies - it was the spotting that was unlike a "typical" period that alerted me to the fact that I was pregnant...and as someone with very irregular cycles, my only guess was what the doctor dated. 5 weeks 6 days with my first showed a healthy yolk sac - and my second at 5 weeks 2 day showed only sack. Things are happening quickly in the baby's development - and in a few more weeks I'm so prayerful that God will have created a beat in your little one's chest!

Do you happen to read http://allyouwhohope.blogspot.com

If not, check out this post specifically before you read all the backstory (and story that unfolds): http://allyouwhohope.blogspot.com/2010/05/some-news.html

Marie said...

You have a yolk sac, which I never had with my m/c. We are all praying for you!

Carrie said...

Ugh. Don't let one person's negativity bring you down. The fact is, you ARE pregnant. No one knows what tomorrow holds, so just be thankful for TODAY. I have worried nonstop with my pregnancy because it's still so unbelieveable to me, but worrying is so tiring and stressful. I've worked really hard on just trusting God and trusting that He will take care of me and my baby boy. Do you read Kelly's Korner blog? You should go there. She did a post the other day about worrying and how it's actually a sin because you're not fully trusting in God. She gave some really good scriptures too, that I wrote down for myself. I just know you will have a healthy, happy pregnancy!

Carrie said...

Here are some scriptures from Kelly's Korner blog that I mentioned in my previous comment. (www.kellyskornerblog.com):

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matthew 6:25-27

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

Andrea said...

Hang in there honey! Dismiss the nay sayers, as you saw what you would normally see at 5 weeks :) My dear friend saw just what you did this early after IVF and we all rallied her to stay calm and at 7 weeks she saw that little flicker! And my RE warned of not seeing a heartbeat that early as well...so he made me hold out to 7 weeks. It was the longest, most anxiety ridden time in my life.

Sending prayers your way and lots of positive thoughts :)
xxx

Anonymous said...

I've been following your blog for a couple years now, but have never commented before. It sounds like you're scared so I just wanted to share my experience with you. My HCG level was 5800 at 5 weeks 1 day and we couldn't see a heartbeat until 7 weeks - that baby is now a healthy 20 month old. I also had bleeding throughout the 1st trimester (bright red scary bleeding) and that turned out to be nothing more than a sensitive cervix.

Relax and enjoy every moment. God gave you this blessing for a reason - trust him to take care of you both.

Jenny H said...

Praying for a heartbeat honey! Hang in there. Your doing a great job. Take care of yourself and keep busy!
<3 Jenny H

Dawn said...

I'm sorry that someone caused you to worry more than you already are. After my last pregnancy I don't think I'll ever get my HCG tested again. The sono is what matters & yours showed exactly what it should. Praying for peace this next week & a 1/2. Can't wait to hear about your next sono. God Bless.

S said...

I am just catching up with all of this wonderful news. Congratulations and I am so overjoyed for you! As far as the comment...it sounds like someone has not gotten past their bitterness. Every single pregnancy is different and as many have already said...beta levels vary far and wide.

I wanted you to know that I also had a bleeding scare during my IVF pregnancy and I am now watching my beautiful daughter sleep in her swing. Keep faith in the Lord and know that He has a plan for you. Huge hugs!

hollygandco said...

You are absolutely right, your pregnancy could be viable with HCG levels that high and seeing a yolk sac at 5w5d. I hate even writing "could" because that word itself seems to cast doubt, and that doesn't seem fair, to cast doubt on something so normal as seeing "just" a gestational sac and yolk sac at 5 1/2 weeks. When I was pregnant with my daughter the u/s tech (who really should have known better than to make predictions) told me that she should have seen more than just a gestational sac at 5w1d, and said she didn't peg me at more than 4 weeks, which would have made my pregnancy not viable. Of course I went home and googled all the different milestones at that point, and learned that the yolk sac doesn't even show up until 5.5 weeks! My dates turned out to be right, with my (viable!) daughter only 3 days late. :)

Michelle said...

Oh my gosh, Hillary! I've been such a bad blogger I missed the annoucement! What a shocker!! I'm so happy for you!!!!! I'm praying my rear off for you!!! xoxoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Idiots should not be allowed to comment about anything. Don't let your mind run away with stupid peoples opinion. Your HCG number is very high therefore meaning a healthy pregnancy. I was pregnant with my twins and was ALWAYS told by my Dr. that was a great sign meaning things were progressing like they should. It's FINALLY your time to be a Mommy and we all wish you nothing but the best.