Thursday, July 21, 2011

Entering the unknown

Lately I have been thinking about some of the similarities between starting our adoption journey and trying to conceive.

When we first began trying to conceive, we were full of hope and excitement. I started daydreaming about the nursery and calculating possible due dates. We talked and laughed and tried to envision my pregnant belly and the child we would soon be welcoming. We very much hoped it would be soon, at least, but we also had that nagging doubt that it wouldn't. Because, you know, not everybody has an easy time conceiving. And I did have that crazy spotting issue...maybe that was indicative of a larger problem?

And so we began. Mostly excited and hopeful, but with the reality of infertility sitting in the back of our minds. What if we were one of those couples?

Likewise, here we are beginning our adoption journey. We are full of hope and excitement. I have started planning the nursery and plan to buy paint this weekend. We see a baby and wonder if our baby will look like that? We're starting to tell people we're adopting! And we hope it will be soon. We hope it will happen quickly, and that there will be a "perfect" match where everything goes smoothly. But we also know that isn't how it always happens - sometimes it takes a really long time, with matches, failed matches, and drama along the way. What if we are one of those couples?

And so we begin. Mostly excited and hopeful, but we also know the reality of the ups and downs of the adoption process. But even if we are one of those couples, we know God's faithfulness. He has walked with us and guided us through infertility, and he will walk with us and guide us through adoption - whatever that holds. We do not need to be afraid, and he will bring us our child.

3 comments:

Sarah B said...

Although there is much uncertainty in the process, I hope you are still able to enjoy the "ups," like building your nursery. In the scheme of things, all this crazy -making family building is temporary, and you'll have a lifetime to enjoy your children. I am so glad that you have your spirituality to give you strength as you wait.

And I've been meaning to comment that I love how you've found you're own way to the process (adoption lawyer) that fits best for you.

Christina said...

Hang in there, and try to hang onto that hopeful part of you. You have plenty of time to worry and be pessimistic. Enjoy the hope and the excitement that you're feeling now...and I pray that the only worrying you'll have to do is why he/she isn't sleeping at night or eating this or that!

Indy said...

Amen. Love this.