Wednesday, April 20, 2011

30

So, I turned 30 today.

I never thought I would be one to feel unhappy about getting older, but I think this is the first birthday some would classify as "older." This is my first test. :)

I don't think it's the number "30" that matters to me, or getting "older." It's just that nice round numbers like this are personal milestones and goal markers. And, of course, I thought I would be a mom by now. That part is a little difficult.

My mom had me when she was 29 years and 11 months - essentially she was 30. We always hit milestone birthdays together. I always thought of my parents as "older" parents, but now that I am 30 that seems pretty ridiculous. :) In my defense, however, my dad is 7 years older than my mom and he already had a son who was 12 years old when I was born...so I probably averaged their ages together.

But I wanted to be a "young" mom. Isn't it funny how we have these ideas? But now I will definitely be older than my mom was when she had me (her first child). I'm thankful I realized how young 30 really is, and my mom still seems really young to me at 60. Plus, my whole family looks young and people still mistake me for a teenager! I guess it doesn't really matter, but it's just another (silly) thing I'm letting go of.

Today is a really mellow day. In true confession I cried last night because we're not really doing anything special for my birthday today. BUT we are having a huge party on the 30th, so I feel like a big baby that I can't really appreciate that and just look forward to it. Lame, I know. But I'm trying to do little things today that I will enjoy - I got a donut this morning, DH & I are going out to lunch, I want to get a few things for my garden, and enjoy all the sweet phone calls, texts, and FB messages I receive. Tonight we have our homegroup Bible study, and I LOVE our homegroup. :)

Here's to starting off a new decade!

23 comments:

Leah said...

Happy Birthday Hillary!!!

J said...

Happy Birthday!!

Allyson said...

Delurking to say I totally agree! I will be (eek) 31 next week. Planning on starting the baby thing after we get married in the fall. Assuming it goes smoothly, the earliest I'd have a baby is at 32. Which sounds old...but I feel young...well, maybe not physically, but mentally. It's weird to think that at my age my mom had a 7 year old and a 4 year old.

A said...

Happy Birthday! I had the same feelings when I turned 30 last July: GOSH, I thought I would have kids by now!! Hang in there- you never know what awesome things the Lord has in store for you in your 30th year (HUG)

M3MU said...

Happy Birthday! I hope the rest of the day has some pleasant surprises in store for you and may this year be truly spectacular.

(btw, just noticed there is an age difference between you and DH, YAY! I'm older than my hubs too.)

Rach said...

Happy Birthday! Wishing you lots of happiness this year!!

Rosie said...

Happy Birthday Hillary. Turning 30 is scary but you're facing it with grace and perspective that very few people have. You've been through a lot, wear it as a badge it has made you who you are....a simply amazing and strong woman! Happy 30th...you don't look a day over 25 :)

l(IF)e Capital IF said...

Happy Birthday!

lifebytheday said...

Happy birthday friend!!! I am sorry for my commenting silence, but I have been thinking about and praying for you, HARD. I think that you're entitled to whatever emotions you feel on your birthday...but I hope that you end up enjoying the day. Have DH give you an extra hug from me! :-)

Melissa G said...

Happy Birthday Hill!

I know what you mean about the young mom thing. We started trying when I was 28... And turning 30 was harder on me than I expected, but I can say that it gets better. And who would want to be 25 again, anyway? I like me much better now!

Hillary, I hope you have a wonderful birthday, and a fabulous party - you deserve it!

andreajennine said...

Happy, happy birthday!

RMCarter said...

Happy birthday. :) I am of the belief that the 30s are going to be MUCH better than the 20s.

Pez said...

Happy Birthday.

You will be a young mom.

Pez

Jenni said...

Happy Birthday!

Missy said...

Happy birthday! 30 is not too bad. I actually found turning 31 to be harder.

Karen said...

Happy Birthday Hillary!

Tk said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY girl!! I can totally empathize with you on this one. I turn 30 next Sunday and after two years of TTC I am still not a mom. I too always thought I would be a "young" mom. God has a funny way about Him and for some reason it isn't in our plan yet. Hard to swallow some days, but it keeps me sane :) I pray you will be a mommy soon!!
Tarah
www.tarahsjourney.blogspot.com

Secret Sloper said...

Happy birthday! I turned 30 last year. It was hard in many ways--but then I had a great party with so many friends and family. I felt so loved and so lucky. It wound up being one of my best birthdays ever, even without a baby. I wish the same for you.

(Plus, it's kind of nice to have that milestone in the rear-view. You worry about it and dread it and then it's over and you realize it wasn't so bad).

mommomish said...

Happy Birthday!

Jem said...

Happy birthday!

theworms said...

Happy Birthday :)
I hope all your birthday wishes come true.

Rachel DeBell said...

As of today, only 3 more days!! Praying miracles.

kdactyl said...

Hillary: I am so sorry to hear this. I only got a taste of what this would feel like after several failed treatments....our last try really was our last try...and before I knew it worked I was convinced it didn't (spotting) so I was faced with that finality and it is a pain that really is indescribable. My heart is broken for you and I will keep you in my prayers that God will lead you to the next steps with peace in your heart that His plan for you still holds much joy and happiness.

Many hugs
kd