Some of you have asked about other options to still build our family through various treatment paths, and I wanted to answer those questions since I have never really written about them on this blog.
- A second opinion: This is something I have considered at various points along the way, and is one area that I sometimes feel guilty about because maybe we didn't do "everything" we could have. BUT, the reality is we all have to draw our lines somewhere as to what we will do, and the emotional and financial consequences of each decision we make are large factors. For us, we felt like our desire to limit fertilization to a small number of eggs disqualified us from many practices (or at least would make second opinions a bit of a moot point - not enough "data" to work with). I know you don't KNOW this until you ask, but can you really imagine C.CRM working with somebody who purposefully only fertilized 3 eggs? So that felt like an immediate hurdle. Plus, our RE seriously discounted many of our cycles and we were able to do 5 ART attempts for the price of about 2 at many of the well known clinics. We did not want to spend so much money and take the time to travel. Also, we simply felt so respected by our RE and his willingness to work within our moral beliefs that I could not give that up.
- Donor eggs and/or sperm: This is one area that we knew from the beginning we would not pursue, as we did not feel it would honor our marriage covenant and that it would create a child who experienced some of the same questions and loss that come with adoption for half of their genetic make up. We have never really considered this.
- Surrogacy: Based on what I have read and what my RE said, it is pretty rare for the problem to ultimately be uterine and that I could not carry a baby. Yes, I have had fibroids, but many women are pregnant with fibroids. We will never know for sure, but I just feel like it was really our embryos and not my uterus that caused us to be unable to conceive, so I have never seen a need to consider this. Plus, this is really, really expensive for something we don't feel certain there is a need for.
- Donor embryos/ Embryo adoption: Hmm....this has been a possibility in my mind at times. Right now, it still feels like such a risk for a BFN that it is hard for me to want to do this. Also, my husband is not really on board - he simply feels like it is a little too "out there," and worries about how to explain this to a child who would also have the loss that comes with adoption. I don't think it is completely off the table, so we will see how God leads us, but for now it just doesn't feel like a good fit for us.