Monday, March 7, 2011

Crying together

Today, my friend S is arriving in Africa to pick up her children after an 18 month journey to adopt. 18 months of uncertainty, waiting, and many difficulties along the way....but soon she will have her two children in her arms. I am overflowing with happiness for her and her family.

When S began her adoption journey, I told her about our infertility one. She is not adopting because she is infertile - in fact, she has one biological son - but I immediately could sense how much overlap there would be in our two stories of building our families. In fact, I think our initial connection was over the fact that we have "internet friends" who really "get it." :) S is one of the few people in my real life who know about this blog here.

Last week she was frantically preparing to travel to Africa with her husband and son. I stopped by her house on Friday to drop something off for her, but I was not expecting her to be home because I knew she had quite a list of errands to run on the last business day before traveling. Or, if she were home, I intended to give her a quick hello and a hug before leaving.

However, S and her son were home....and she invited me in. She showed me pictures of her kids she is about to meet in person. I told her I should leave so she could get things done, but she said she had a moment. We talked more. I again offered to leave, but stayed. The conversation shifted to me and infertility treatments. I shared with her.

We moved outside and watched her son play and continued to talk. She shared with me her pain that she has experienced in these last 18 months, and the losses she has grieved. I shared my own loss and grief, and soon we were both crying. Crying together. She was not simply crying for me in empathy, but she was crying for herself and her children, too. And I was crying for all of those things as well. Crying together. Both of us knowing each others pain, not completely, not perfectly, but feeling it together. And both of us trusting God together, knowing that it is all worth it. A life of love.

I don't think I have ever had an experience quite like that before, and it felt soothing to my aching soul. Although I am certain I stayed longer than either of us had hoped or even expected, and that it made the rest of her day more stressful, S assured me as I was leaving that "people are more important." Thank you, S. I doubt you will be reading my blog in Africa, but if you ever come across this, thank you for your love, prayers, and tears. Thank you for sharing your heart with me. I can't wait to meet your precious children and praise God with you.

8 comments:

A said...

I am so glad that you have a friend like this that you can go sit with and share your heart with. Praying for you (hug)

kkasun said...

I am so glad you got to have that experience! It sounds like something you will always remember.
Congrats to your friend S on completeing their family!

Leah said...

Isn't it good for the soul to be able to connect with someone and to have someone really get it? I've had a couple moments like that during my infertility struggles and it is always so refreshing.

lifebytheday said...

Experiences like that are so special, and so rare...thank you God for giving us people who can touch our soul and remind us that we are not alone!

eggsandsperm.com said...

That's so beautiful. Congrats to your friend.

Michelle said...

Wow, I'm in tears! Beautiful post!! Aren't we so blessed by some of God's gifts he gives us? I was just thinking about my two friends who have been very supportive lately! I'm so glad you have someone who is there to support you!!

RMCarter said...

This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing your experience. It really touched me. Many congrats to your friend.

Ribbens Family said...

thank you friend for sitting with me..and crying and just being. and yes, i am reading your blog from africa because it meant so much to me to have that talk that i just had to check in to see how you were doing:) we met our sweet boy today and words just cannot describe what we experienced...ah..god is good..SO good. praying for you from around the world!!!