Monday, February 14, 2011

The blues

You know how sometimes you get the "Sunday Blues" because the weekend is ending and you have to go back to work the next day?

And you know how those Sunday blues are multiplied when you are coming home from vacation? The "Post-vacation Blues"?

Yes, the post-vacation blues mixed with the renewed reminder of my barren womb and the reality of our confused position hit me like a ton of bricks when we returned home on Saturday night. We were tired, cranky, and making the two-hour drive home from the airport, and I started quietly crying. I am scared of these next few months ahead, and I wished I could just go back to Washington DC and live in vacation mode for an indefinite amount of time.

The next morning we went to church, which was filled with more quiet crying. The Lord encouraged me there, and I look forward to sharing that with you a future post. But in the midst of that I felt raw and oh so broken. So, so broken. But I also can testify that we serve a loving God who meets us deeply in our brokenness.

Today is Valentine's Day. For the last couple of year's the day fell on a weekend, and DH & I spent the day together as an all-day date. However, since we just returned from vacation, we have work today, and our youth group Bible studies tonight, we're not really doing anything nor was I expecting anything.

But when I got in the car to drive to work this morning, this was sitting on my seat:

DH surprised me with a really sweet card. And, yes, I cried some happy tears.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!

10 comments:

Melissa G said...

Oh, I love the vacations where you get to forget about all your troubles...

Now I want one!!!

I'm glad you got to take a break, but sorry all that stuff was waiting for you when you got back...

Sending you peace.

Emily said...

I, too, was feeling very broken. I'm looking forward to reading your post about the encouragement you found.

And welcome back!

AplusB said...

What a lovely card. Happy Valentine's Day!

A said...

what a sweetheart you have there! so glad the tears were happy today :) i know God has more where those came from in store for you (hug)

Meg said...

You sure do have a sweet husband! I'm so sorry for the sad tears. Sounds like the kind that just make your whole being feel tired.

Ami said...

Welcome home! I hope you feel happy again soon! And can I just say how much I've enjoyed the photos you've been posting? Even if they are just of a lovely greeting card or you with a hat on? It's been fun to see photos from time to time! Here's hoping you have a peaceful, stress-free week. :)

A said...

I tagged you (hug) (see my blog today)!!!

Rach said...

So sweet. I'm glad it cheered you up a little. Can't wait for your future post.

Jen said...

I gave you a blog award!

Anonymous said...

Don't give up! I know how hard it is..hearing everyone elses + pregnancy results...You don't say that here, but I have been there, I know! You are happy for them but think..God "what about me!!!!"
April is you month. I have said that for a long time. I am praying for you!