Friday, January 28, 2011

Pre-op appointment today, complete with freak out

No, I'm not freaking out about the surgery itself. That's fine. I have had this before (hysteroscopic myomectomy), and it was very simple.

I am freaking out about money. $$$

The money I did NOT expect I would have to pay for this. The $1,000 bomb that was dropped on me today as I was registering for Tuesday's surgery. The $1,000 we do have, thankfully, but never wanted to spend on surgery.

When I had this same procedure done in 2009, I think it was as close to free as you could get. I think it's not this time for two reasons: 1. Our insurance coverage has changed a little and we pay 10% and 2. My last surgery was at an outpatient surgery center, but this is at the hospital where my RE does his surgeries. But I was certainly not expecting this.

I know 90% coverage is still really, really great. It's just so hard to spend money on something so elective, that may not get us at all closer to having a baby. Something that we could forego and simply skip ahead to the frozen egg cycle.

And after all the money we spent last year on fertility treatments, I just can't handle spending more. It is difficult to think about that money and realize we have nothing to show for it, but at least it was money we had decided ahead of time to spend and knew the risk. This just came out of left field for me and I lost it.

I didn't cry in front of the hospital lady, but I am sure she could tell I was upset. I literally felt sick to my stomach and considered canceling the surgery right then and there... But I didn't have enough conviction to make that kind of decision right there on the spot. Instead I pre-paid for the surgery so I could get the 20% discount she was offering, while internally struggling like crazy over it.

Can't I just get pregnant for free like everybody else?

Oh, and this doesn't even include anesthesia. They bill separately and I don't even know how much of that my insurance will cover, but I'm choosing to live in denial about that a little longer.

Also really hoping DH doesn't flip out when I tell him tonight. I've already cried enough over this today.

21 comments:

Bobbi said...

Oh gosh, that stinks!!!! I mean, we willingly drop THOUSANDS of DOLLARS on infertility treatment because we feel that'll bring us our baby, but never something that might not do anything at all. Hang in there, friend. This surgery might bring you answers that WILL bring you your baby! :)

kkasun said...

I am so sorry.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I always feel bad about complaining about the cost, when so many people are willing to spend it.

And though I am sure in the end it will be worth it, it is still really hard. And frustrating. And shocking.

I hope it "does the trick" for your FET.

My heart goes out to you.

Ami said...

Hillary, that is exactly what happened to us when I had a hysteroscopy/laparoscopy. We unfortunately had to charge it, which, feels doubly awful when we weren't expecting to have to pay such a chunky fee. What a bummer. My heart feels for you. But still, I am so hopeful for you. :) Sorry you had a rough day...keep on being you! (And thanks for the comment on my blog the other day! Totally made me smile! :)

Melissa G said...

"Can't I just get pregnant for free like everybody else?"

Amen, sister.

It sucks that money is such a huge factor in all of this. I'm sorry the costs have caught you off guard.

Buck said...

Keep asking about discounts for paying cash, for pre-payment, etc. The amount the doctor's offices make from a person versus an insurance company are very different and they often have the authority to negotiate. It sucks when even 10 or 20% of a bill is that much. Hang in there! I'm still reading and still cheering for you guys and hoping for the day when you finally get your good news!

Anonymous said...

Ugh, I am so sorry...there is nothing worse than being slapped in the face by another IF bill. Like we really need MORE stress!

Anonymous said...

I wish I could fall in love and find a life partner for free. I hate internet dating (W seeking M).

Life is SO unfair.

Well, I just made the Peopod guy happy by giving him a hefty tip. But the hefty tip was my choice. Hey, maybe he's single, but I just heard him drive off in his truck.

Good luck on your surgery!

Melis.sa said...

((HUG)) I hope your dh is understanding and the the other bill isn't too awful :( Here's praying after this surgery you can look back at this post and say aha! that's what helped!

Mellow said...

Oh my, how frustrating! Sometimes if they code it as diagnostic, and not infertility they will cover it completely. That is what I found out with my insurance. Might be worth checking into. Hang in there! This is a mountain worth climbing!

Rosie said...

So sorry honey :( I hate the way insurance works. I wish that you (and me) could get pregnant without having to go into debt to do so. I'm sick of learning the lesson (over and over) that life is not fair. Hopefully your surgery will shed some light how to treat your infertility so that you can have that baby you're so deserving of. Huggs to you.

Mrs. Lydon said...

Why cant we get pregnant for free like everyone else?? My sentiments exactly. I am about to go get this same thing done plus a few others. I havent had the preop yet. Now i am nervous lol

heartincharge said...

Oh I know what you mean. I hate how my IF turned my family's finances upside down and still continues to so through our debt.

And then i think how many pregnancies result from people who didnt spend money - didnt buy condoms, didnt think they could afford birth control, and i get pissed.

but while this may sound crass, i know there are some things money cant buy, but i am glad it could buy me fertility treatments. i am glad it bought us a chance.

A said...

I am so sorry about the unexpected costs. I continue to pray that God will give you clear guidance about how He is going to expand your family (HUG)

Rambler said...

Oh man, having surgery costs associated with our IF struggles is doubly unfair. I remember one of my first RE appointments where they did the hysterosalpinogram. My insurance paid for the surgery room, but refused to pay for the actual doctors's fee, claiming that feel under "infertility" which was not covered. I remember crying on the phone to the insurance rep, saying "but I'm not infertile (more like I didn't know either way yet)". It just didn't make sense. Was I supposed to do the surgery myself while using their surgery suite?

Anyway, sorry to hear about this stumble. And I hope DH have you the huge hug you deserve for going through the darn thing in the first place!!

Rebekah said...

I'm so sorry you were blindsided by that. 90% coverage or not-$1000 is a lot of money! Praying for your surgery. ((hugs))

Amanda said...

I'm sorry that you got hit with that out of pocket bomb today. That really sucks, as does the fact that you've had to do so much in the first place just to get where you are now. When things like that happen to me I always feel so sad because I think of of the people that could not afford to pay.

rae said...

That stinks! Thank you for being so honest! I have felt that way many times! Praying it works.

Kakunaa said...

Medical Care: a necessary and expensive evil. I feel you, sweetie. Hubby and I have a STACK of bills totalling easily $10k that we aren't sure how to pay. I'm so so sorry sweetie. HUGS.

I hope the surgery itself goes well!

Christa said...

Been there, done that. It's the worst. I hope your husband was okay about it though.

Do I Have to Be a D.I.N.K.? said...

Ugg...that really sucks. Sorry to hear that you have to shell out some cash for this.

Leah said...

I'm so sorry Hillary. :( I know first hand the financial aspect of trying to have a baby. Let's just say I'm nearly 2 years post treatment, and I'm STILL paying for my previous treatments. It's sad, and it's such a burden.

Thinking of you.