Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Hey body

In the earlier TTC days, I knew my body like the back of my hand. I hardly needed to temp or use OPK's to know when I was ovulating (although I still did faithfully, to ensure we were timing it right), I knew when the spotting would start, and I knew when my period would come.

However, since starting IF treatments my body has changed, and I have lost touch with it. Thanks to constant RE appointments as well as drugs telling my body what to do, I haven't monitored anything for a long time. On the non-treatment months, my body is usually spotting nearly everyday in what feels like wild complaint to what I am doing with it. However, I certainly don't feel guilty for giving it drugs, since my body has done it's fair share of spotting to spite me anyway (we have a bit of a love-hate relationship, I guess).

This month my body loved me - or, at least, the residual estrogen from the FET. Virtually NO spotting (only a little around cycle day 10), and even now I only have the faintest spotting to warn me that my period is approaching.

Instead of a super short spotting filled cycle, I am on cycle day 29!! This is quite a long cycle for me, and that combined with the lack of spotting made me start to wonder if I should take an HPT. Not that I really got my hopes up, but still....maybe?!

BFN.

I think the plain and simple truth is that I just don't know how to read my body anymore, and it seems to do something different every non-medicated cycle. Thanks for an enjoyable cycle, body, but let's get this show on the road!

13 comments:

Rambler said...

I hate the "could it be??" HPTs we take and the BFNs that come with them.

Our bodies are not used to the drugs we feed them, even if the drugs change, the amounts change and we try to put in some breaks. Glad you are looking at the positive though!

andreajennine said...

Oh, that all sounds so familiar, right down to the "long" 29 day cycle after a medicated cycle.

Suzanne said...

Wait for your beta!! I had all BFN's before and the day of my beta, yet is was positive. A little low, but positive. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Rachael said...

I hope that your beta is a different result than your poas result. (((hugs)))
P.S. I nominated you for an award over on my blog.

Leah said...

I lost touch with my body also during infertility treatments. I think it was the invasiveness of it. I hope you learn it again. :)

Melis.sa said...

Glad that you haven't been spotting!!

I'm sorry about the BFN.

A said...

yuck about the bfn with no spotting tease. that is the WORST. praying for you as always (HUG)

Betty Rubble said...

Even though you didn't have your hopes up its still a bummer that the PT was BFN :(

Missy said...

I remember before we started TTC and I read Taking Charge of your Fertility. I felt empowered by knowing exactly what was going on in my body. Now I feel it is all an illusion.

gringa78 said...

Hey Hillary! I haven't been around lately since I switched jobs and am waiting for a new laptop, but I wanted to check in with you and say hi. Thinking of you and always hopeful. ((HUGS))

Kelli said...

Crazy hormones. Hooray for a great cycle! xo

ps. Don't forget to check for your special delivery tomorrow!

Jess said...

It's not cool when your body is that 'out of whack' that you don't know it anymore. I hope it can get back into a routine for you. Sorry for the BFN this month. BFNs suck.

~Jess
http://bringingyoumorethanasong.blogspot.com/

Kakunaa said...

I never was able to tell when I was O'ing...just not one of those gals...so for you it must be weird to have no idea. All the additional hormones do completely mess up our natural rhythms...I just hope eventually you find yours again...