Monday, August 16, 2010

A new day

Last week's appointment with the RE felt like a fresh start. A new day. A new cycle. It snapped me out of my depressed, emotional, and fearful state and in an instant I became a little hopeful again. (Am I crazy for being hopeful?)

I am still riding on the high of that appointment. I know as IVF #3 gets closer, the baggage of the past 3 BFNs will tempt me to fear, doubt, and despair. But for today, I am simply happy. DH & I are very much enjoying our non-depressed and non-TTC month. We are not doing anything particularly special, but enjoying the small things like laughing late into the night, sipping on a glass of wine, worshiping together at church, and having extra free time during our youth ministry break for the month of August. Life feels good and I am trying to soak it all in.

Thank you riding this roller coaster of emotions with me.

19 comments:

Missy said...

I can't believe your dr is offering potentially free IVFs. You should definitely take time to enjoy this good news.

Kakunaa said...

You are, of course, very welcome. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! And enjoy the happy :)

Rachel said...

Thinking about you!

Andrea said...

Continue to indulge in the small things....and no you are not crazy to be hopeful, as that is a wonderful sign :)

Pursevere forward and may God light your way.

Rebekah said...

You are NOT crazy to be hopeful. Cling to it! It's the only way to be!!

Jill said...

See, there is always something around the corner that you weren't planning on seeing/hearing!

It doesn't get any easier, we just learn how to manage the emotions better.

Keep your head up!

Sara said...

This is such a refreshing post! You are not definitely crazy to be hopeful!

Melis.sa said...

I hope your days and nights continue to be filled with laughter and hope!!

Marie said...

I love it! Enjoy every moment of your peaceful, happy, hopeful month. You deserve it!

Betty Rubble said...

This makes me smile :) Not as much as you, but makes me smile :) ENJOY!!!

Life Happens said...

I'm so happy that you guys are enjoying your time together. It's great that you are feeling hopeful and happy. I hope those feelings stay around!!

Melody said...

Thanks for sharing your life with us! It's something special to watch and participate(I use that loosely)in a distant, but very real way. Hearing/seeing you grapple with the hard things God has allowed you to go through with such authenticity and grace has been amazing. I don't know that you can even realize the impact you have had on people....lurkers, prayers, friends, total strangers that are reading your heart as you openly share.
So glad you are in a place of calm and peace right now.

Rach said...

Glad you are feeling so much better! I hope everything lines up perfect for this next cycle. Enjoy the "non TTC" month!!

Amber said...

We are also on IVF #3 with our frozen babes. I totally understand the rollercoaster ride of emotions, but isn't it amazing what a little bit of hope can do?! I believe that hope comes from the Lord, exactly when we need it most! Praying for you and dh as you enjoy this down time, and as you prepare for the upcoming cycle!

Tabitha said...

We are all on this rollercoaster with you, cheering you on!!! And trust me...HOPE is a good thing. A very good thing. :)

Jess said...

This is refreshing! Go you for being positive and just relaxing this month. I think it will be best for your health and state of mind.

addingtothepack said...

I am so glad to hear you are feeling good and enjoying the break -- with so much to look forward to with future treatments!

A said...

It is so amazing how your appointment went- I think anyone would be walking on air right now! It's pretty shocking what your doc is offering you- hopefully God will bless him for his generosity and you with a baby!

ventingvagina said...

enjoy life and hope for the future! you are NOT crazy for being hopeful. :)