Wednesday, July 28, 2010

7dp3dt: Up and down and all around

Like any two week wait, my feelings of hope and despair have fluctuated up and down faster than the speed of light (well, almost). It's petty insane, but I'm sure you can all imagine...

Yesterday morning I felt like the PIO b.reast pain was disappearing. Just like every other medicated cycle, which were all BFNs, of course. So whether or not it is reasonable to do, I feel like I "know" I am not pregnant when this happens.

I struggled through yesterday, constantly on the verge of tears while poking my b.oobs. DH got home from work and I started crying... I was just a big ball of fear and doubt.

As the evening progressed, I realized the b.oobs were aching a little more. And even if it was from all of the poking and prodding throughout the day, it made me feel a tiny bit better.

Bed time rolled around, and as I changed into pajamas, I was suddenly struck by one relatively bright vein going up my chest. I then had a flashback to a conversation I had had with a friend near the end of my two week wait for IVF #2. We were standing in her kitchen with the morning light streaming in, and she said to me,

"You know, I always knew I was pregnant when I had a bunch of dark veins on my chest."

Of course, after that conversation I had gone and examined my chest to look for veins. No veins.

But last night I saw them without even looking for them, and hope surged in my heart. I ran out to show DH, half scared that I was getting hopeful and half elated.

Me: Ok, Pam told me she had noticeable veins on her chest every time she was pregnant. Look, I have veins!

DH: I don't see anything.

(We moved to the bathroom so we could have better light and a mirror)

Me, pointing to the vein and looking at the reflection: See, right there. And a lighter one there (there really were only 2...)

DH: That's always there.

Me: No, I looked last cycle and there was nothing!

DH, lifting up his own shirt: See I have veins on my chest too. Oh no, I must be pregnant!

I kicked him in the bottom on his way out of the bathroom. :) Anyway, let's just say I went to bed quite happy.

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning to pee, and as I walked to and from the bathroom I felt my b.oobs ache. Score, another happy point! I was then too excited to fall back asleep, and laid awake for another hour.

This morning the veins weren't there (sad point). My b.oobs were sore as I got ready (happy point). But they don't look any bigger (sad point). The soreness wore off as the morning progressed (sad point). I saw the veins again in a dressing room this afternoon (happy point). Got the call that my progesterone looked good (happy point!).

So, what's the score? Overall I do feel hopeful. And while it's scary to be hopeful, the hope is a lot more fun than the despair.

27 comments:

A said...

Sounds promising to me- praying your baby is here!!

Kakunaa said...

Omg, your symptom check is making me nervous. One week until my wait begins. Major eek. Still praying your embies stick!

Britney said...

This made me laugh. I want you to know, although I don't know you, I continue to pray for you and a positive beta!

Rosie said...

It's funny how we all analyze every symptom. It's inspiring to see you be so positive. Keep your spirits up. Why shouldn't it be your turn this time? Stay hopeful:) I'll be praying for your BFP this cycle.

The Wife said...

I could never tell if my veins looked any different.

I'm praying for you!

RMCarter said...

Ahhhhh, the two week torture cycle. I'm going through it too. It is the worst! Here's hoping for +++ results all the way around!

Betty Rubble said...

I loath the two week wait...even more when its not my own! Ugh. Keeping my fingers crossed in hope, and my hands folded in prayer for you!

HUGS!

jeanna said...

praying for strength for you till your beta!

Anonymous said...

I had the EXACT same conversation about boob veins with my dh. LOL.

Anonymous said...

I am hoping and praying this is it for you!! You would make such a great Mom! BTW - I have had three children...and I KNEW I was prego because of the veins in my chest!
My last little one was a complete surprise...never thought I could get prego without IVF...but I KNEW I was..why? My veins!!
Best wishes to you and many prayers

Jendeis said...

Praying with you...

Mellow said...

This sounds like really good news...praying it just keeps getting better. :)

Amy said...

I've spent more than my share of time with my boo.bs checking for veins and poking them repeatedly.
I'm praying that this is your cycle you get your BFP!

Missy said...

I had to laugh at your "happy point" and "sad point" tally. I think it is in the positive direction now.

Emry said...

I just started reading your blog, but good luck! Don't poke too hard :) I'll keep you in my prayers.

Amanda said...

I'm glad that you are still feeling hopeful. I had some progesterone soreness when I was in the 2WW and became pregnant, but it definitely decreased at the end of the 2WW and I was sure I wasn't pregnant. I noticed the vein thing some, but not until later... it tended to fluctuate a lot too. Symptoms are kinda mean in that way.

Rach said...

I hope they are all good signs!!

Kelli said...

Praying for all kinds of happy points leading to your happily ever after!!

Kate said...

Thinking of you. The 2WW is SO HARD.

Hannah said...

Praying for you! I know it's so hard when you're trying to analyze the signs. HUGS!

kdactyl said...

I had the waxing and waning bre.ast tenderness as well....and I was pregnant...so it is true...the symptoms come and go and drive you crazy!....as for the veins...yup,....ONLY when I am pregnant...sometimes they show up right away and sometimes it takes a bit longer...I am so very hopeful. I will continue praying.
kd

AplusB said...

Just FYI, my b.oobs hurt less than any other cycle and I was pregnant. I was so *sure* it was over. AND they definitely hurt more in the morning and it wears off throughout the day. On and off...totally normal. Hang in there!!!

Mrs. Hammer said...

I love how we all over anaylze everything and when I read your post I felt like I could have written it myself. I really, really hope all these signs are telling you it worked!!

Amber said...

You sound like me. Poking at your boobs hoping and praying that they will be sore and when the aren't the doubt creeps up on you. Today I officially start my TWW. I will be praying for the two of us.

Mrs. Hoppy said...

I'm still hopeful for you too! I have everything crossed for you!

ceecee867 said...

Waxing and waning sore boobies.... prominent booby veins.... um.. peeing in the "wee" hours... each and everyone of those were my symptoms when first prego !! Praying for you

A said...

hey! where is the 8dp3dt post?! i am dying here for an update! ;-)

praying for you as always (HUG!)

PS. if you got a bfp, i respectfully request that you tell us right away :)