Wednesday, May 26, 2010

IVF #2 Follow up appointment

I went into my WTF appointment today with a decent list of questions, but honestly I have been pretty happy with how both of my cycles have played out....minus the BFNs, of course.

Turns out my RE is in agreement with my assessment that other than the fact that I am not pregnant, he has been really pleased with my cycles and sees no red flags. He didn't think there was a need for any of the testing or surgery options I asked about. He wouldn't really change anything if we cycled again and thinks it's just a matter of time.

So, I don't know. Part of me feels like a "bad" IFer for just accepting that we've had "bad luck" for two cycles, but I am really content to trust my RE on this. DH & I wholeheartedly trust him, and we know by limiting fertilization we may not have picked the "right" egg each time. And there really aren't any other tests to do that I have seen listed that would change our treatment plan. (ie I asked about sperm fragmentation testing, but the RE asked if that would change what we would do (ie donor sperm or stop treatments)? No, it wouldn't...) Any suggestions on testing I haven't thought about?

So, the plan is to use our frozen eggs and do a frozen cycle. This was the only thing I was not expecting - I thought we would move forward with another fresh cycle because the odds are better. But he thinks we should give it a try with the frozen because it will be easier on us and cheaper.

He said we could get going on a frozen cycle as soon as I get AF, but I'm not sure about it. First of all, after every medicated cycle I spot for the ENTIRE month afterwards. I forgot to mention this today, so I'll give the RE a call, but that seems problematic for an FET, right? Also, I just don't know if I would be crazy to jump right into another cycle. Honestly it gives me a little hope back to start right away, but another part of me wonders if I should take time to heal from the last BFN. Decisions, decisions.

Oh, and I'm also going to start doing acupuncture! He gave me a few suggestions for acupuncturists when I asked, but only one is in my city. I looked her up and she left the practice she used to be in and now is a "substitute" for other acupuncturists or does house calls. I'd rather go to a regular clinic and also be able to use my insurance, which I *think* will cover the acupuncture. So...I googled and found a few places that say they specialize in infertility, but how do I know? Suggestions?

Lastly, I guess after two failed IVFs the RE gets worried about your emotional state. He asked us a number of times how we are doing and offered to refer us to counseling. He also offered to discount the FEggT after he discusses it with the administration, and did not charge us for today's appointment. And the nurses all smiled at is apologetically as we walked through the hall. I think we will be getting some extra special attention from now on...


Rach said...

Sounds like you have a great RE. Very fair. I'm no help on suggesting additional tests. As far as the next cycle. I say go with your heart. If you need a month off to rest then do it. A healthy body and mind is best.

I think I'm going to look up house calls for acupuncture in my city!

Good luck on your decisions!

Amanda said...

Your clinic and RE sounds really great.

It sounds like you have it thought out pretty well. And you're right that it could just be bad luck... if you flip a coin 2 times and it comes up tails both times it doesn't mean that you won't get head the next.

I did acupuncture and my practitioner didn't specialize in IF, but he knew his stuff. I never asked him about his methodology in treating me... I didn't want to know. I try to understand everything but I decided that I didn't want to try to think scientifically about acu and just went with it, and I lucked out. I will warn you to make sure you have someone certified in acupuncture. My secretary's sister used to work in a chiropractor's office and he would make the sister do his acupuncture appointments! She didn't think that was ethical and quit. It pretty outrageous, but just make sure you don't end up with some kind of sham like that.

If you are putting off your frozen cycle for month, you might get started on the acu now to get the most benefits out of it. I really hope your ins will cover it.

Anonymous said...

I love your attitude! I so want to be like you when I grow up!!!

Good luck with your next venture!

Nicole said...

Your RE (and office) sounds like a great guy. Our office after a failed fresh and failed frozen acted put out and like we were wussy because we didn't want to jump right into another. Needless to say we swtched docs. I think it sounds like you two have a good plan.
Sounds to me like it would both fulfill your desire to take a rest, not waste too much time, and give your body a reset cycle if you took the next month off and then started the FET. Good luck with the decision.

Andrea said...

So sorry you find yourself in this place, as my heart is heavy for you. However, all those smiling faces as you walked down the hall are people who love you and are cheering you on, just as we are! Keep walking and know that your efforts are not in vain.

I wish I had some more advise, but I don't...all I can offer are more prayers and a BIG HUG.

As for acupuncture, I did go to an acupuncturist to "try it" and do believe in its benefit, as does a Dr. friend of mine :) Good luck finding the right LAT for you.

Keep your chin up sweet girl...we all love you.


Melissa G said...

Horray for Acupuncture!!!

I really think you're going to love it, and I do believe that it will make a difference in your next outcome. Aside from whatever physiological benefits it provides, it really is good for your mind and spirit. I often feel better coming out of acupuncture than I do a Spa treatment.

I found my first Acupuncturist through the AAMA: Most places won't advertise a specialty if they can't really do it. I would maybe interview each one, and ask about their techniques and success rates.

Hillary, I'm sorry it's taking so long, but I am so proud of you and how well you're handling everything. Hang in there!

kdactyl said...

Hillary...sounds like a great appointment today. Your RE sounds like a very nice man and he is so willing to work with you on your terms.

I highly recommend accupuncture. I have used it for both our successful cycles. Research has shown that accupuncture can increase your IVF odds by up to 12%! If the clinic you found specializes in fertility...definitely get in there for a consult. The sooner the better....I still see my accupuncturist once a month throuout my pregnancy (once a week for the 1st 12 weeks).

As for your frozen cycle...I wish you much success. I will be praying.


Missy said...

I think your plan to trust the RE makes sense. No need to do more testing if the result won't change the plan. And since you are doing limited fertilization, you know the chances are lower and you may need more tries anyway.

I highly recommend acupuncture. Going to a regular clinic is better. Try to see if they will give you an informational session for free so you can meet the person. That's what I did.

Leah said...

I think you are right to trust your RE. Sometimes, everything goes perfectly, yet we still don't get the result we want. It is just another huge reminder how we are not in control.

And I hope you like acupuncture. I know I really enjoyed it. :)

jeanna said...

As usual you are an inspiration and by the way you deserve some special attention!

Grace said...

Sometimes there's nothing more we can do than pray and wait..I like that you're going to start acupuncture and your RE sounds nice.

We had to change doctors as we weren't getting answers from our old place and I'm pretty glad we did, but that's not the case for you!

Jendeis said...

I absolutely loved acupuncture. I don't think you absolutely have to find someone who specializes in IF, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

I found that the wonderful thing about acupuncture is that it gets your mind and spirit to a clearness and peace that you only feel during deepest prayer. It was wonderful.

Heather said...

I would definitely do acupuncture for this month then try the FET. I did acupuncture when I was having no periods and it brought on a period every time. I was amazed and I felt great too. Couldn't hurt! Praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Your RE sounds wonderful! I wish I knew more about accupuncture, sorry. About jumping right into it again, obviously do what feels right for you - but I have to tell you- we jumped right back in and I am SO much more relaxed - it's like it snuck up on us and now it's almost over - much less stressful! xoxo


Rambler said...


Thank you so much for your support on my journey, and for praying for me. It makes me feel like I am not alone and I am honored that you included me in your prayers. Gosh, thank you.

I'm still super disappointed that you had to even go to this WTF appointment. I know how important is to have a RE that listens to you and gives you options. And the fact that he gives you price breaks is very cool.

Of course, it's up to you and DH as to what you do ultimately. Sometimes a break gives you the fresh energy you need for the next round of emotion.

Good luck to you, and thanks for sharing your heart.

AplusB said...

How encouraging that your RE is confident in the protocol and approach you've taken. I'm just sorry both tries have not ended the way you'd hoped. I think you have a great chance with this frozen cycle, and I will keep praying!

Jenny H said...

Oh sweet girl, how I can feel the ache of your heart. As I sit here again on cycle day one I am once again reminded of how a barren womb feels. I am also reminded of Jeremiah 29:11, that He has a plan and purpose for you & DH. I want you to know it is ok to cry until your face hurts and seek His face for wisdom and guidance. Is 53:3 tells us that the Savior was a 'man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.' He too feels your pain and sorrow. His Word never said we would not grieve our losses. But it does say we are not to grieve as those who have no hope (1 Thes 4:13). So you see, Hillary, you have not lost {hope} in the One who created you in His image and has plans for you that are incomprehensible. I am so proud of you and your walk with Him. Just know on the days you can not hold up your head & you can't bear the thought of another cycle, He is there and He has placed so many of us to intercede on your behalf.
Suround yourself with resources that you can grab when you are having a tough moment. My life line for the past several weeks has been books written by incredible Women of God like Hannah's Hope by Jennifer Saake and other resources I have found on
Also acupuncture has been a {HUGE} step of therapy for me. Look for someone who specializes in fertility. It makes a difference! Check out the credentials and go for a consultation. These are usually free if they are good at what they do; they aren't worried about getting clients. My Flex spending card covers my treatments and I go once a week for one hour sessions and I take her formula of herbs, so ask if they offer herb therapy. She also usues Moxibustion and swears by it! {google it} She says that {every one} she has used it on has become pregnant. {She has been doing this for 3 years}. Aside from the fertility aspect, I have noticed improvements in GI motility and overall health. {TMI, but hey its real}
Choosing what's best for you guys... where your heart is tugging you to go, listen to it and go with that for the next cycle. Try to date more and go on short day trips just the two of you. To find your joy again in one another. Keep the 2 hearts as 1... that is so important in this journey! I have seen too many couples go down this rocky infertility road and in the end have several children and divorce papers to show for it. So go to the park and laugh again! smile again! swing in a swing again! That is the best therapy of all!
Hope this helps you through this part of your journey. And keep Hope a float... sounds cliche, but He is your source of strength, direction and life raft through this tidal wave!

Nicole said...

you sound strong and energized! unless you are putting on a show for us, it seems like you are doing everything right! remaining positive! even the old fashioned way, months when it "should" happen it doesnt so...too bad this is way expensive. :(