Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Monitoring Appointment #4: Almost there

Last night just before bed I went to the bathroom and saw some brown-tinged CM. I am all too familiar with spotting and the pattern it takes, so this little bit of almost nothing made my heart sink. I crawled into bed. DH was reading beside me, but I didn't tell him. Instead I fell into a fitful sleep. We had a windstorm throughout the night, and the howling wind and my anxious thoughts kept me awake.

I am praying that God would help me to trust him, but I am so scared of every appointment and what "bad news" it could bring. Lord, help me.

****
However, today's appointment was a good one. The first thing I did was tell the RE about my spotting, and he dismissed it and said brown doesn't really mean anything. He said my lining looks perfect and not to worry. But he said if I ever can't sleep again because I'm worrying I should just call him. I don't think I would be so brave (or inconsiderate?!) as to actually call him in the middle of the night unless it was more serious, but I thought that was so sweet of him to say.

I can't believe how different things look day to day, and how that has effected me emotionally each day. A roller coaster really is the best description of an IVF cycle.

My follicles: 21, 20, 15, 13, 12.

Based on my E2 yesterday my RE thinks there may be 3 mature ones, so the 15 could be catching up. I think I learned my lesson about making assumptions during an IVF cycle - things just change too much! So even as I type this I know we could get 3, or we could get 1. I'm trying to hold this loosely and trust God (as I mentioned above).

My nurse told me everything has turned out perfectly for what we wanted out of this cycle. Maybe she just said this to make me feel better - but it worked. :)
****
At lunch today I had another negative bathroom experience. Infertility treatments make going to the bathroom a thing of dread! This time the spotting was pink, but I've never really had that color before in all my years of spotting.
The nurse called a little later to say to stim just a little bit more tonight (75ius of Follistim with the Ganirelix), come back again tomorrow, and I will trigger tomorrow night for an Egg Retrieval on Friday. I'm so thankful to have made it this far. I told her about the pink spotting, and she said not to worry - that my lining looked good, and the RE would double check everything tomorrow.
The roller coaster continues.

20 comments:

WantWait&Pray said...

I'm just so excited that you're plugging away so well and so FAST in this cycle! I am praying for 3 nice embies and a great next few days. They are big ones!
Best of luck to you my dear....praying this is IT!!!

Betty Rubble said...

I'm with you...I would be too nervous to call because it would be a NIGHTLY call!

FRIDAY will be here before you know it!!! Then you're December baby will be on board shortly there after!

Mellow said...

Deep breath! :) Praying all is well at your appointment tomorrow. Sounds like you are doing pretty well, and your right, it's a roller coaster ride. Hold On!

Kelli said...

Hooray for Friday! I'm so excited for you and all the possibilities that God can turn into realities! Your follies are looking good and the dr sounds hopeful! All good news! Can't wait to hear how it goes!
xo

A said...

I have been an awful commenter, but I have been reading and praying for you like crazy. I am so encouraged that God has blessed you in all the ways He has this cycle. I will be praying that He continues to keep the blessings coming- ultimately in the form of your first little baby!

Rach said...

Hope all continues to go well!!

Anonymous said...

oh my gosh - i totally understand your worrying - i would too, it just comes with our situation...but I'm so happy you have such supportive people in your life (Dr included) AND Friday will be here in a minute!!!!!

21reena

Melis.sa said...

Praying for 3 eggs!! I hope the spotting stops and that the retrieval goes smoothly on friday! :)

Buck said...

Hang in there, I'm cheering for you!

I don't think the bathroom-dread ever goes away. I was literally just thinking today, I can't wait until I don't have to examine the toilet paper after every bathroom trip!

Just keep having faith - there's a happy ending ahead for you, I just know it!

Leah said...

Sorry about the spotting. So frustarting. :-( The good thing about IVF though is that you get constant "peeks" at what is going on in your body. As long as your lining is thick (which the nurse said it was) and your eggs are growing, then I guess the spotting doesn't matter.

Thinking of you!

Hannah said...

Even though I always say I'm going to just trust God and not worry, it's always such a struggle for me too! So glad the spotting turned out not to be a problem and that it's almost time for ER! Hoping & praying with you for this cycle!
HUGS

Missy said...

I know what you mean about the bathroom being a place of dread. Good luck with the trigger and retrieval! I am sure things will go well.

Courtney said...

Awesome news!!! Friday will be here before you know it!

AplusB said...

So glad for this news! I had a feeling things would work out. Good luck with the trigger and retrieval. I hope you get three perfect eggs!

Melody said...

Friday will be here before you know it! So excited for you guys and will be praying your retrieval goes great.

Shanny said...

I'm praying you get those 3 eggs! I've heard/read of some women with some spotting during IVF cycle and ended up nice and knocked up, I wouldn't worry too much. I do hope it stops soon though cause telling you not to worry is easier said than done. Retrieval is right around the corner, woohoo!

sara said...

oh my friend...I can't imagine the roller coaster but I do think that you are handling it with such grace!! Praying for continued trust and of course a sweet miracle:) Praising God that your body seems to be doing so well!!!

Kaz and Amy said...

I'm still praying for you....everyday...hopeing and trusting for you! Hang in there! Have a great Wed!

amy[www.theprikazskys.com]

Andrea said...

Holding you close while you continue this ride and thinking of you on Friday. I'm hopeful and FAITHFUL for what this cycle brings. And, so happy you have a caring RE :)

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

HUGS

Jennifer said...

I have faith that everything is going to work out this cycle. It sounds like your RE is amazing. Praying for you this week and in the following weeks.