I am praying that God would help me to trust him, but I am so scared of every appointment and what "bad news" it could bring. Lord, help me.
However, today's appointment was a good one. The first thing I did was tell the RE about my spotting, and he dismissed it and said brown doesn't really mean anything. He said my lining looks perfect and not to worry. But he said if I ever can't sleep again because I'm worrying I should just call him. I don't think I would be so brave (or inconsiderate?!) as to actually call him in the middle of the night unless it was more serious, but I thought that was so sweet of him to say.
I can't believe how different things look day to day, and how that has effected me emotionally each day. A roller coaster really is the best description of an IVF cycle.
My follicles: 21, 20, 15, 13, 12.
Based on my E2 yesterday my RE thinks there may be 3 mature ones, so the 15 could be catching up. I think I learned my lesson about making assumptions during an IVF cycle - things just change too much! So even as I type this I know we could get 3, or we could get 1. I'm trying to hold this loosely and trust God (as I mentioned above).
My nurse told me everything has turned out perfectly for what we wanted out of this cycle. Maybe she just said this to make me feel better - but it worked. :)