Friday, November 27, 2009

The note

Thanksgiving day is almost over. As I got ready for bed a few minutes ago, I realized I didn't get out our camera to take any pictures today. No pictures of my family at my parents house for lunch, no pictures of all the food I made there, and no pictures of our dinner at DH's parents' house. I was a little sad to realize that there will be no photo record of Thanksgiving 2009.

Do you any of your notice that you take fewer pictures while dealing with infertility? Maybe it's just me, but I have noticed a lack of 2009 photos stored on our hard drive in general. I have an entire album devoted to college, tons of pictures from when we were dating and engaged, and then, of course, the million wedding pictures. Our first year of marriage was filled with all the "firsts" to photograph: our first dinner together, apartment, Christmas tree, dinner party that we hosted, vacation, Easter, and the list could go on. The firsts got less numerous as the years passed, but photo worthy milestones continued to occur. We bought a house and set to painting, painting, and more painting to transform each room. Trips to visit friends and family across the country. But now the photos are slowing down.

And I know if we had a baby this Thanksgiving, or even if I were pregnant, the camera would have been flashing all day long. A baby brings another lifetime's worth of firsts and milestones to record, I imagine. Not to say that DH and I won't have noteworthy, meaningful, and memorable things to record...it's just different. And less frequent.

But, as I wrap up Thanksgiving 2009, I do have one very special memento from the day. It brings tears to my eyes just to write about it. My dear, sweet brother gave DH and I a card with a handwritten and heartfelt message of thanks to us. My 24 year old single, cynical, reserved, and sometimes hard to read brother wrote us a note that conveyed a tremendous amount of love. I always have known him to be very thoughtful and loving....and I feel close to him in one sense....but we do not live like we are close. We don't call or talk often, and while I know that loving side of him is there, he doesn't express it very often. This note was quite unexpected and out of the blue.

This year was a Thanksgiving that I thought would be just like all the others, but it turned out to be such a special day thanks to my sweet brother and his one small - but huge - act of love. And although I don't have any photos of today, I am incredibly thankful to have that note to cherish always.

12 comments:

Caroline said...

Hugs Hillary...I'm so glad that your brother wrote you a special note of thanks. You deserve it. x

JC said...

Aww how sweet of him! I didn't take any photos either. Just one of my niece and nephew when the got dressed at my house.

Liddy said...

I am a sometimes lurker and as I read your post, it really stood out.

My mum is a photographer and I have tons of pictures up until our wedding. But I really do not know of the last picture that was taken of E and I.

I only took one picture yesterday and posted it on facebook but it was something for my family.

Baby Wanted said...

What a sweet gesture from your brother! I am with you on this...I didn't take one photo, not one! I guarantee if we had our family of 4, we would be taking loads of photos. I LOVE IF! :)

Courtney said...

That's so sweet! I didn't take any pictures either. It was just a weird Thanksgiving this year.

A baby for Al? said...

Aww, that's so sweet!

I have noticed I take many less pictures of us in the IF years..I take a lot of beautiful scenery, but not of the husband and I. I hope we get to document our baby bumps v. soon!

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking about the camera thing too! I haven't posted any pictures on facebook since august...and yesterday at Thanksgiving I didn't take out my camera once, or for my birthday last week...weird
21reena

julie said...

Ditto. I feel like I have enough pictures of just my husband and I--and i've also stopped taking pictures of other people's kids. We have so many pictures of us with our nieces and nephew and now it just makes us look so childless and pathetic.
I too am waiting for a bigger reason to fill up my iphoto albums.

Blessed said...

what a sweet brother!

i noticed that so much my camera never came out before i was a mommy but soon your camera will be clicking away like crazy

hang in there and keep the faith no we are all thinkin of you

Jessica said...

I have taken considerably less photos since we been dealing with infertility too. Photography is my hobby, but sometimes I purposely leave the camera at home because I don't feel like I have anything worth taking pictures of!!

Life Happens said...

What great memories you have of this Thanksgiving. Just your brother's single act of kindness was such a needed blessing. :)

Jem said...

You are sooooo right about the camera. I don't even know where it is.... hmmm... better go find it.