Thursday, October 29, 2009

small freedoms

After the initial disappointment of a forced break this cycle, the week as flown by. It's amazing how much faster the days go by when I'm not counting cycle days or days past ovulation.

I also think I am enjoying the freedoms of a non-treatment cycle:
  • The day of the cyst discovery, I drank a diet coke. And had a piece of chocolate.
  • The day after I found out about the cysts, I enjoyed a nice warm cup of coffee. Two, actually. (Although I did ask my RE on Monday if I should avoid coffee while cycling, and he said one cup a day is ok. I don't even drink that much, so apparently I was depriving myself for no reason).
  • I skipped two prenatal vitamins. It was an accident, but it just dropped of my radar. And, honestly, I am a baby about swallowing pills, so after the fact I did take some delight in not taking them.
I know, I know, I'm such a rebel. :) It is just nice to live life "normally" sometimes.

Another interesting thing is that I am way less stressed about DH and his sp.erm. I think we've done all we can do, and we have seem some improvements to his SA numbers as well as some drops. They are all over the place, so if DH forgets to take his slew of vitamins one night, is it really going to make a difference? I think we both feel a sense of freedom in that. We can't control it.

24 comments:

Leah said...

I love how you always find positive things in every situation. Enjoy your cycle off. It is always soul healing. :-D

Melis.sa said...

I hope the month off is full of a lot of fun things to do :)

A said...

I am so glad that you're enjoying this time off!!! You're better than me though- I indulge in those things EVERY 2ww- medicated upcoming cycle or not!! Hehe!!

A said...

I mean, every AF (not every 2ww) !! Oops!!

A baby for Al? said...

Glad you're enjoying the month off! You are much more disciplined though, every AF I enjoy coffee.

SecretSisterhood said...

I know what you mean. I had to take several months off while I had my uterus reconstructed (for lack of better terms). It was actually quite a relief! Less stress, didn't know what CD it was, just lived semi-normally. Take advantage of it!

Betty Rubble said...

This makes me smile :)

JC said...

I'm glad you're enjoying your break, you little rebel! Lol ;)

addingtothepack said...

Bust out and enjoy it!

I have said several times while holding my handful of IF-related pills that I take every night that I am so glad that I don't have any issues swallowing them. I feel so bad for women who do...blech.

Rambler said...

I agree, it's so nice to have the "what ifs" and "what abouts" floating in your head around this time.

Kate said...

I am so glad that you are enjoying your break! I am starting one, and I am going to follow your lead!

Find joy in every journey said...

Those months off for us were always good for our marriage. Sometimes I welcomed a forced break.

Are you sure you have done everything you can do for your DH? There was a time I thought that, too. Then we found our dr. at maleinfertility.com. Has your DH had all his hormones tested? That was a big piece for us. Also, getting to a dr. that was very knowledgeable about variococeles, considering DH had 14 more removed during his second surgery. :)

Wait, What? said...

I'm glad you are finding the small positives in taking a break. On another note, I nominated your blog for an award.

Hope Endures said...

I love that you are so positive, even in the midst of your disappointment! I am glad that you're able to find the joy in all those special little things that you normally don't get to do.

I'm glad too that you're not as stressed over DH's sperm count. It only takes one of those little buggers!! :) I've been thinking lately about how there is such a freedom in recognizing that God is in control and we aren't...I am not in that place too often these days, but when I am, it's wonderful!!

Shanny said...

Oh you rebel, you!
Enjoy the break and the heck, skip one more prenatal... but that's it missy!

Life Happens said...

You are so right when you said it's nice to live life "normally" again!

Enjoy the break. Drink Diet Coke and eat lots of cake!

TheDales said...

Good for you! I'm a addicted to caffeine...especially a coke at the very least I have to have 1 if not 2 a day. When I thought I was pregnant back in June/July I didn’t drink a caffeinated drink but maybe 1 or 2 times for those two months. But when I found out it wasn’t a good pregnancy sadly my addiction returned as comfort!

So enjoy your coffee!

barrenandbelieving said...

way to splurge! :)
I am so sorry this last cycle didn't work but just because you aren't actively trying doesn't mean God can't give you are miracle this month. I am proof of that.
You are such an amazing woman and I just know God smiles when he thinks of you! :)

Kelli said...

You go girl! I'm glad your stress level is down and you are enjoying a "normal" month!! :)

strongblonde said...

just wanted to let you know i'm reading and thinking about you, but it's hard to comment :(

you continue to be an inspiration!

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Hi, I just found your blog from Wait, What' s blog. Sorry this cycle isn't working out. Hopefully it will free you up to enjoy other things so that you're refreshed for next time :)

I was wondering about what you said about your DH's improved SA...our doctor said nothing could be done to improve it...is there anything you did that you could share?

I'd like to add you to my blogroll, hope that's ok with you - if not please let me know - also, feel free to check out my blog when you get a chance:

www.stillwaitingformysunshine.wordpress.com

-21reena

Anonymous said...

you have a great attitude--it's awesome!

check this out:

www.wishtobeamommy.com

Mary said...

You are so lovely.

I was thinking about the benefit of having short cycles when you have to sit one out:)

Jess said...

I'm sorry to hear you have a cyst on each ovary...that stinks big time! I'm glad you are rebelling and able to enjoy your small freedoms! :)

babyparamore.blogspot.com