Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Thinking ahead

This morning I woke up and started thinking about my next cycle. Usually these thoughts come with excitement and hope, since I at least feel like we're moving forward. However, as I laid in bed anxious thoughts started to fill my mind.

Yesterday, I read a post on a message board I frequent in which most people said their RE liked to see an E2 level less than 50 on cycle day 3. I read the post and had the casual thought, "Huh, mine's never been below 50" but didn't think much of it.

This morning, for some reason, that sunk in. Why is my estrogen so high (ranges from 50-68...not terrible, but not below 50)? Will my RE cancel my cycle? What do they do about high estrogen?

Shortly after this I saw a lovely blog post by my friend Andrea, who is newly pregnant after her 4th IVF. Last week she had a bleeding scare, and her post today was about the amazing gift of peace that the Lord has given her. She is not scared. Her words and the scripture she quoted settled my troubled spirit.

God is in control. I cannot be shaken.

And to steal a verse she used in her post:
My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.  The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.  The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore (Psalm 121:2-3, 7-8).

Thank you, Lord, for calming my heart. Help me to trust you, and forgive me for my worry. Use my next cycle as you desire. Amen.


Anonymous said...

I once knew someone who painted a mental picture of a woman sitting perfectly still on the edge of a cliff in a hurricane. The waves are crashing on the rocks, the wind is blustery and the rain is pelting the woman from every direction.

That is serenity.


Leah said...

This is a great lesson that we can never have too many reminders of. I feel like I need a note taped in front of me that reminds me that God is in control.

Anonymous said...

Oh, friend, I'm glad what I shared can help a little bit. Praying that you will be kept in peace despite what the numbers say.

Tabitha said...

Such a beutiful post!

Kate said...

What a beautiful post! Just what I needed to hear as I am about to start another cycle, too. Wishing you continued peace throughout the cycle.

Amy said...

No thoughts on the E2 levels...but I hope you continue to feel peaceful through your upcoming cycle!


Anonymous said...

as i am on CD1 at this moment...i was blessed to run into your blog. i randomly clicked on one off the ICLW list, with my eyes shut no less! and found this great post!

i am in a turmoil of thoughts and wishes and dreams and sometimes sadness.

the one i try to remember - "be still, and know that i am God." psalm 46:10.

thank you for the calming post. TTC makes the sea so stormy.


A said...

I have been praying the same thing since we learned of hubby's business trip during the money time next cycle!!! I am so glad I read this today- thanks!!

Life Happens said...

God IS in control. Amen.

Life is about learning from the past, looking ahead, and believing in God.

Anonymous said...

ideally below 50 yes...BUT so long as you are below 100 that means that you WILL respond to your meds.


Anonymous said...

I hope you stay in your place of peace for this next cycle and beyond.

Courtney said...

Such a great reminder. I hope you find peace with this cycle.

Melis.sa said...


You're absolutely right, God is in control. :) I love this post.

Anonymous said...

God *is* in control - of everything but I must admit that often I fail at remembering that, sometimes the flesh takes over and it is HARD to let go and let God.

I'm glad you got to a place of peace.



Shanny said...

That's a very beautiful verse!

The Mrs. said...

Great post! I find myself a lot of the time starting to question things, and get worried about how everything will turn out. It is such a comfort to know that God is in control of the situation! Good luck on your next cycle!


Kari said...

Great post and good luck!!


Wishing 4 One said...

Wishing you success in your next cycle. ICLW

Jess said...

Great post! I read her blog and she is so right and I love the scriptures. God is our rock and with him all things are possible. We just have to be patient for his timing. I know for myself it can be so hard to wait but I think he is teaching me patience and with this lesson, I will be a more patient mother.

I love your previous post, your blog corner looks super comfy!