Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I desire IUI

I loved reading about all of your (annoying) interactions with RE's and nurses -- and suggestions for best getting and receiving information! You guys can always relate. Love you. xxoo

You know, I didn't appreciate hearing the nurse imply that an IUI might not be an option for us.

But let me back up: I have always known IUI's might not be a possibility. Before DH's surgery this was not an option at all, I think. No doctor outright said this (and we weren't with an RE yet), but the uro talked about having the varicocele repair surgery...or IVF. And after the surgery...well, things definitely improved, but I don't know what the RE will say. I think they would let us do an IUI, but, statistically, is it even worth it?

So I did know that. If our IUI success rate is, say 3%...would it be worth it? Or 8%? 15%? I don't know. What is the lowest chance of success that it would be worth our time, emotions, and (almost most importantly) our $5,000 of insurance money??

Looking at it by the numbers, it would probably make the most sense to just jump to IVF, since our MFI is still significant and our chances of achieving pregnancy would definitely be higher.

But we are not just going by the numbers. Our hearts, our beliefs, and our relationship are intricately tied into these decisions. And, from where we sit today, we are just not ready to do an IVF cycle and I don't know if we ever will be. It's as simple as that. I have read about women who say they wished they hadn't wasted their time on IUI cycles, and after many failed ones finally got their BFP through IVF. Maybe down the road I will realize we should have just done IVF (if we ever do), but I don't think I will regret trying an IUI or three.

So...unless Dr. RE tells us our chance of IUI success is dismally low (how low is too low to try?), that's where we're headed.


satto said...

I hope you get to do what you want. We were given about 12% odds with IUI. We did one and now are going on to IVF. That was OUR choice. What was right for US. If I wanted to keep doing IUI that would have been right also. Someone has to be that 12%.

I hope you never need IVF, but if you do decide to move on to that I just want you to know you are strong enough to get through it. I promise you none of it is as bad as you think it's going to be.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Betty Rubble said...

You have to follow your hearts desire. That is what is important NOT statistics NOT cost NOT ANYTHING BUT WHATS GOOD FOR YOUR MARRIAGE!

At the end of the day what is important is that you came through the other side of infertility-with or without children-with an intact marriage. If you have a child, but a no longer married to the love of your life what have you gained?

Hugs. You WILL get your hearts desire!

Jen said...

Betty Rubble said it perfectly! You have to make the choice for YOU. Not for your doc or the nurse. I hope and pray one is all it takes for you!!!!

Amanda said...

I agree, there isn't a right or wrong here. Do what you feel you need to do... maybe that means just taking sometime to talk more about IVF and getting comfortable with that idea before doing anything. Good luck.

A said...

I think it is fair for you to sit tight if you are not emotionally ready for IVF. A friend of mine who had a heartbreaking m/c with her first IVF has emphasized to me that the emotional cost of IVF should be considered/portrayed as possibly more intensive than any financial cost.

I hope that one IUI is all you need!

Melissa said...

((HUGS)) Word to the above comments, you have to do what you feel is right for you guys :)

c by the sea said...

I think you have to do what feels right for you. I am now doing my first IVF after 1 IUI and 1 cancelled IUI. (also MFI, 3% morph, then 0% morph) Although I have now made the decision to do IVF, I wouldn't have been ready if I hadn't gone through the IUI's.

I hope the IUI is all you need! Good luck!

K8e said...

Good luck! I hope you have a good plan soon!

AJ48 said...

You have to do what is right for you! So only move onto IVF unless your ready. IUI has worked for a lot of women.

BUT I am one of those women who if I had to do it again - I wouldnt have wasted my time with IUI's. Plus I liked the fact that I could only put 1 embie back. Knowing that I wasnt going to end up like John and Kate made me feel at ease.

I will tell you that I was VERY nervous going through IVF. But after it was all said and done, it really wasnt too bad.

I hope you never need to go through IVF and just know that if you do decide to - us IVFers are here for you every step of the way!

Good Luck with whatever you decide to do!!

strongblonde said...

totally agree with betty.

...jon and kate actually did IUI, not IVF. the benefit of IVF is that there is a little more control.

i did 6 IUIs then 2 IVFs. would i still do the IUIs? maybe. i really think that everything leading up to the last IVF cycle helped to provide the docs with more info: how my body worked, how i responded to drugs, what b and i could really emotionally handle.

the process is hard. you have to chose what works best for you. :)

Infertility is Hard said...

You definitely need to follow your heart. You are obviously well versed in the odds and everything, but it's also important to do whatever is best for you and your husband, and it sounds like you are definitely on that route. :-D

Missy said...

I hear you on how there are major differences between IUI and IVF and you can be ready for one and not the other. There is the cost and physical invasion, plus it does get into murkier emotional decisions. Does your insurance cover both? Our insurance covers neither, so even with a 10% chance, I would still IUI at least once given the cost and physical difference.

♥Tabitha said...

Congradulations on your decision! Can't wait to hear what the Dr. has to say!

Amber said...

I think its probably worth it just to know that it works or not. Wow the IUI's are much higher there if its 5,000 ours was only $500 which included the sonogram + IUI, usually they are much cheaper.

No one can make that decision it has to be a decision that you feel in your heart is right.

Stuart and Sarah Creamer said...

You can only do what you feel is right and what you feel God is leading you to do. He will be with you every step of the way. I am an IVFer and it is the hardest road I have ever been on in my life...but I know God is there with us through it all and someday...we will get past it! Praying for you!

Mrz. Hannah Myhre said...

I think you should do what you feel is best for you... I was suppose to do and IVF/ICSI cycle but Got canceled due to not having enoungh mature EGGs/follies..

BUT.. MY DR. let me do and IUI insted of completly being canceled.. since I had 2 large eggs.. I don't know if this will work.. it would be a mircale if it does.. because of my hubbys low motility.

But mircales do still happen and I'll just take it as it wasn't Gods will for me do IVF YET:)

That being said... Just pray about it.. and do whatever it is that you feel is right for you right now. God will lead you through this.


Kelli said...

Follow your heart! You know at the end of the day, the percents and numbers and statistics don't mean much - you have put God in control of your situation and He will lead your heart. IUI all the way!

Rambler said...

I can relate to your struggle about the numbers and statistics and "what to choose". We've only gone the IUI route so far, I don't know how ready we are mentally and physically for an IVF cycle. We've been given a 10-15% chance (I guess the same as one of the other commenters) with each cycle and right now I pray that if we got the bum end of the stick in being dxed as infertile in the first place, maybe we'll get the other side of the stick for success! Somebody's got to be that 10%! And for us, that is good enough right now.

Erica said...

You seem to know in your heart what you want to do. Trust in yourself. I'll be thinking of you as you and DH are faced with the next step. And I'm here. :)

Melody said...

Wow, you have such awesome blogging buddies! You got some great advice and I know you guys will make the right decision for ya'll because you clearly seek God in these matters. I would say after praying it through and taking that next step (IUI or IVF) to do it with confidence and trust and don't look back regardless of the results. That's the beauty of prayerfully seeking Him in these things. You do what you feel He is leading you to do and yes, there may be heartbreak along the way. There was for us after several failed IVF cycles however I have to say that there was great peace in the midst of pain because we were following what we felt He led us to at that time. Thankfully we never fell into the "should of, could of, would of" mentality after the failed IVF's. We did what we felt was right for us at that time and only by God's grace moved on afterwards. I am sincerely praying for you guys and cannot wait to see what God has in store for you.

Andrea said...

we were pretty much told the same thing...and I was not ready to move on to IVF until the 4th failed IUI. you move on when you are ready, don't feel pressured.

it is all a process, and everyone's process has a different time line and different steps. do what is best for you.

tiffany said...

Thought I'd add my two cents.

If you're not ready for IVF, then the time for IUI and the money it costs aren't a waste. Perhaps they are god's way of preparing you for IVF. Or for adoption. Who knows? But if your heart is telling you to try IUI, then absolutely do it! (as an aside, I'm in exactly the same place. SO ready for IUI, but not sure we will ever be on board with IVF.)

On your question on the odds. My RE gave us a 3-5% chance if we tried on own, but she still encouraged us to try on our own for 3-6 cycles. And when talking to us about IUI she is VERY optimistic, saying we have a 20% chance. I thought "WHAT? That seems so low!" Of course, then she reminded me that a "normal" fertility person has about a 20% chance of getting pregnant each cycle. I think that puts it in perspective.

Cinbin said...

Right there with you on the struggle between IUI/IVF. We may/or may not be candidates for IUI, I got the IVF info and cried, we don't have insurance that covers any infertility treatments whatsoever, and I just am not ready to do it, but the RE was telling us I shouldn't wait because I am 35. It's so hard to know what to do. But whatever you decide will be the right option for you, and its more important that you feel comfy with your decisions.

jones said...

You'll make the right decision. I know it.