Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother's Day

Growing up, Mother's Day was never a big holiday in our home. My mom never seemed to care all that much if we made a fuss about it, so we didn't. Plus, her birthday is this month....as well as my dad's....and one of my brothers....so Mother's Day usually got lost in the midst of birthday celebrations.

What is the purpose of Mother's Day? I've always thought about it as a day to 'celebrate mom.' To show her how much you appreciate her and all that she does for the family. For many people, this seems to involve flowers and gifts, a nice meal out, and the family gathering. It's a time to tell mom in a special way that you love her.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I am not a mother. We have tried, prayed, and hoped that I would be a mother by now -- or at least have a little one in my belly. But my belly is empty, too. So as I think about Mother's Day, I realize that I don't want to be celebrated or lavished with gifts....that's not what I'm missing. What I am lacking is a child.

I believe that one day, somehow, I will be a mother. And once Mother's Day rolls around, I want a quiet day to celebrate the fact that I am a mother. I want to sit back, look at my child with a full heart, and be reminded how utterly thankful I am that I am actually a mother....and relish the fact that somebody calls me mom...and reflect and rejoice in where God has brought me.... and how he has guided my path. I want Mother's Day to be a thanksgiving that I am a mother.

And if they want to get me flowers on that day, that would be fine, too.

9 comments:

Betty Rubble said...

The woman who "invented" Mother's Day had no children! She wanted a holiday to celebrate the Blessed Mother--thus when Hallmark stole the holiday she was very upset--she died a very unhappy woman who was then trying to repeal the holiday. So, I think she would be very happy with the way in which you wish to celebrate the day.

Melody said...

"I want Mother's Day to be a thanksgiving"...I love that, Hillary!

Kelli said...

I feel the same way, Hil. And I really think that without the journey of IF, I wouldn't have that perspective. So although it's been hard, I'm thankful for the path I'm on and looking forward to the day when I can be thankful just to be a mom.

Melissa said...

:) I loved the last line...

JJ said...

I dont think, in fact I KNOW, that I would not appreciate today or any other day as a mother, without having my IF journey. It has made me a better person. And you WILL be a mom--and today, I celebrate ALL women-so that includes you=)

Erica said...

Yeah, and if DH decides to take the kids OUT of the house on that day, you'll probably like that too! :)

Hang in there today. Thinking of you and hoping that your belly is full soon. You know what? I think you CAN celebrate Mother's Day today. You are fighting like hell for your child just like any mom would do. Your child will know how much it was wanted very soon! I know it.

gringa78 said...

What a beautiful thought. I'm going to remember that. :) Thinking of you today!

Amber said...

I feel the same way, maybe next year we can both celebrate with our own child and being a mother:)

A said...

Really beautiful post! I hope that you had a nice day!