I think I have been waiting for this since November 5, which was the day we found out my DH's sperm don't really move. I have been waiting for more information about what our future holds. Waiting for hope that we will be able to conceive. Waiting for somebody to tell us we have a chance. Waiting to truly try to conceive again.
I was not looking forward to the waiting. It is difficult to be patient....and waiting meant I would not be getting pregnant anytime soon (barring a miracle). Life continued on while I was stuck holding onto my dream and unable to move forward with it.
BUT I am amazed at this side of the wait that this period of time was actually a breath of fresh air. God blessed us in our waiting and gave us rest. I look back to November 5th and feel like over the course of these months I have regained my footing and am standing on solid ground. Trying to conceive for 8 months with negatives at the end of each had taken an emotional toll, and I was so tired. Eight months is not that long, I know, but I had feared something was wrong for a couple years before that first month. And as you all know, each month when you're TTC feels like a year!
DH & I are ready to move forward. Throughout this waiting time we had many wonderful conversations about infertility, our desire for our family, and trusting in the Lord. I think DH understands me that much more, and understands infertility more. And how infertility and me go together. :)
Thank you, ladies, for waiting with me these months as I processed so many new thoughts and emotions. I know my "long" wait will be one of many that comes with infertility, and there may be longer ones yet. Although I try to guess what lies ahead, I have no idea. But I know today we are stepping forward trusting the Lord will guide us, comfort us, and do good by us. He has already blessed me so much thus far -- even through this waiting -- and I know he holds me closely.
I know, I know...it's just one measly RE appointment. But somehow this appointment marks a new beginning in my mind :)