Thursday, April 9, 2009

The wait is over

The wait is almost over. Our RE appointment is TOMORROW (or today if you're reading this on Friday). I can hardly believe it -- I am excited and nervous at the same time.

I think I have been waiting for this since November 5, which was the day we found out my DH's sperm don't really move. I have been waiting for more information about what our future holds. Waiting for hope that we will be able to conceive. Waiting for somebody to tell us we have a chance. Waiting to truly try to conceive again.

I was not looking forward to the waiting. It is difficult to be patient....and waiting meant I would not be getting pregnant anytime soon (barring a miracle). Life continued on while I was stuck holding onto my dream and unable to move forward with it.

BUT I am amazed at this side of the wait that this period of time was actually a breath of fresh air. God blessed us in our waiting and gave us rest. I look back to November 5th and feel like over the course of these months I have regained my footing and am standing on solid ground. Trying to conceive for 8 months with negatives at the end of each had taken an emotional toll, and I was so tired. Eight months is not that long, I know, but I had feared something was wrong for a couple years before that first month. And as you all know, each month when you're TTC feels like a year!

DH & I are ready to move forward. Throughout this waiting time we had many wonderful conversations about infertility, our desire for our family, and trusting in the Lord. I think DH understands me that much more, and understands infertility more. And how infertility and me go together. :)

Thank you, ladies, for waiting with me these months as I processed so many new thoughts and emotions. I know my "long" wait will be one of many that comes with infertility, and there may be longer ones yet. Although I try to guess what lies ahead, I have no idea. But I know today we are stepping forward trusting the Lord will guide us, comfort us, and do good by us. He has already blessed me so much thus far -- even through this waiting -- and I know he holds me closely.

I know, I know...it's just one measly RE appointment. But somehow this appointment marks a new beginning in my mind :)

xxoo

12 comments:

Betty Rubble said...

It seems like a new beginning because it is one!

Good luck, do update as soon as you can! I can't wait to hear what the RE has to say!!!

Nichole said...

So great to hear from you! Good luck with your RE appt. Can't wait to hear how it goes!

BIG HUGS!

Melissa said...

It's the beginning of more hope!!

You'll have to update us when you can.

I know what you mean about waiting though. It took me 9 months after my m/c to finally make an appt. I know I needed to rest spiritually and emotionally.

Wishing you the best tomorrow!!!!

Erica said...

I'll be waiting to hear how you make out. Lots of luck darling! Sending you vibes of comfort and much love. :)

A Few Good Sperm said...

Good luck today! I also felt some sense of relief during the wait between my husband’s diagnosis and his surgery. At least we didn’t HAVE TO try during that time because it wouldn’t make a difference anyhow. It took some of the pressure off.

Kelli said...

I'm thinking about you today and hoping that everything goes well at your RE appt! xo

Hopeful said...

Yay for a fresh start! I know how excited you've been for this appt for so long. I can't wait to hear what they say!

jones said...

Hurray for new beginnings, answers and moving forward. I love spring!

Silya said...

I am glad you have your appointment today! It will be nice to start getting some answers and moving forward.

c by the sea said...

i can't wait to read all about your appointment. i am so glad for you the wait is over. soon, there will be more waiting, but at least it will be a better kind of waiting!

strongblonde said...

so excited to hear how things went! :)

♥Tabitha said...

I'm so excited for you! Can't wait to hear all about it!