Sunday, April 19, 2009

Moments of emotion

We had a such a wonderful weekend at our church retreat. Extended time with friends, worship, and God's word truly are nourishing to my soul.

I did get to hang out with my newly-discovered infertile friend a lot and I love her! I am just going to have to name her and call her Grace. We did not get to have our extended infertility talk because there were so many people always around, but we have a rain check. :) And even without that talk, we had a few moments of connection...she really has already been like having one of YOU around and it is such a blessing!

An example: I was in the bathroom at the sink and Grace was on the other side in the shower room. A newly married girl walked in, and through the course of some small talk asked the "When are you going to have kids?" bomb. Grace came out of the shower area in the midst of this and after the newlywed had left said, "I flinched for you when she asked THE question." Seriously!? She's like you guys, she GETS IT!

Over the course of the weekend I did have some moments of refection and emotion that were quite powerful. Some are IF related and some are not. In order of occurrence:

*The retreat speaker mentioned a severely autistic girl that he has had a friendship with over the last couple years. He described how she can barely communicate and cannot be touched. She often speaks through some kind of technological device. This girl told him that she has always believed in Jesus because God has always communicated with her...daily. He tells her that she is his special daughter, and that he is closer than we all think. I wish you could have heard the story...but a silent sob burst through at the thought of what an amazing God we serve. He communicates with her in a special, intimate way because he loves her. I can't even describe what a beautiful image of God this stirred in my heart.

*Seeing the children preform a musical, and the lead actor sang many adorable solos. At the end of two songs he sang out loud and clear, "Salvation is from Lord." It is a joy to see praises come from the mouth of babes, and I think I was the only person to CRY during the children's musical. I think I was also imagining how proud his parents must be and hoping I, too, could see my own child on stage performing like that someday.

*The speaker briefly talked about the woman who touches Jesus' robe and is immediately healed of her bleeding disorder that she has suffered with for twelve years. I cried out to God -- I want to touch your robe! How do I touch your robe? I want to be healed. Or maybe DH should touch your robe. We want your healing in our life in all areas, including our fertility. I cried.

*Grace told me she prays for DH & I. She said she prays that our infertility would end...not necessarily that we would have a baby. Isn't that interesting?? I am still pondering this one and look forward to hearing her describe this more.

As you can tell, I was a bit emotional, although mostly in a good way. I think AF is around the corner (already!?). God is so good.


Anonymous said...

I think Grace prays in the "thy will be done" way which is her meaning. Our infertility will end one day...but if we have or not have a baby is Gods will.

I am so glad that you have met a real life friend who understands.


Melissa said...

I'm glad to hear your weekend was so great! That has to be so nice to have a friend that understands!! :)

♥Tabitha said...

Sounds like you had a great time! God IS good!

Caroline said...

I'm so glad that you had a good weekend away. Your friend Grace sounds like a gift from God. Thanks for all of your support Hillary. Hugs to you. C x

Amanda said...

Hey, Happy B-Day!

Glad your retreat went well too.

Nichole said...

That sounds amazing! I would love to go on a retreat like that! Sounds like Grace is a very special person that was brought into your life at just the right time. I would be very interested to hear her explanation on "infertility ending" as well - very intriguing choice of words!
Take care non!

Kelli said...

I'm so glad you have a new IRL IF friend!! They are hard to come by sometimes!

Sounds like you had a great retreat with lots of special moments. So happy you enjoyed it!

Mrs. Hammer said...

That sounds like a wonderful and refreshing weekend. I have a few IRL infertility friends who all now have their miracles and there is nothing like true understanding of where we are all at in life. What a blessing that you have each other!