Friday, February 27, 2009

Hoping for a winter wonderland

DH & I are off to high school winter camp for the weekend, and our snow deprived west-coast hearts are really hoping we'll find a winter wonderland out there. We have had a lot of rain lately...and we will be in the mountains...!!

You might be wondering why we'd be going to a high school camp when we're clearly not in high school. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but we're volunteer youth leaders with our church. We each have a small group of kids that we've been meeting with weekly for Bible study, prayer, and fun since the kids were going into 7th grade. They're in 9th grade now, and we hope to stay with our groups until they graduate high school. It's a lot of fun and definitely keeps us busy.

I haven't told my girls about my infertility yet. Honestly, I think I have hesitated because I don't think they would really care or get it. They pester me all the time about when I'm going to have a baby (doesn't really bother me) because they love the idea of holding & babysitting my baby someday soon. But when it comes down to it, they are 14/15 years old and can barely fathom college, let alone being married and having a baby. It's just so far out of their interests of boys, clothes, boys, music, boys, and sports. And if you all think back to when you were that age, you probably remember how difficult it was to think of others in's a very self-focused age. They're getting better, though. :)

BUT, I think I'm going to tell them about it this weekend. Part of our goal in youth ministry is to truly live life with these be there for the long haul as they struggle, celebrate, and learn, and to see us in our lives as we do the same. So even if they change the subject 30 seconds after I tell them, I want them to begin to enter into my infertility a little. To see another person's struggle, grieve with me, pray for me, and see one example of a Christian walking through something difficult. Even if they just get a small glimpse of these things, it will be worth it.

And I will try to be more mature than them and not be hurt if they don't care. :)


Amanda said...

I think it's really cool that you spend your time with these kids. That's great.

Sorry to be a nay-sayer, but I don't really understand why you want to share this with them.

I think I get the point behind why you want to share it, but you could probably share other challenges you've had that would be more relevant to them at this time than infertility.

It's just that it's such an intimate subject and by talking about it, you are in a way talking about your personal sex life with these kids. I'm sure you've talked with them about sex in the context of when is it ok to have sex, but this is different.

I think they will probably care, but they may not be able to understand really IF yet. And if try to impress upon them the emotions of why this is a big deal, then you are entering another risky territory where you could end up glorifying mother hood to a group of impressionable teens that shouldn't be thinking about kids yet.

That's just my opinion. You obviously know these kids better than be. Have fun on your trip

Caroline said...

Hi Hillary,

I hope that you have a great time away with your group. I am sure that you will inspire them. I loved your last post regarding your MIL's recovery.

Mary said...

I think that this is a wonderful idea. Infertility should not be something that gets 'hidden away' and not talked about. Sadly, I don't think any of us were ever exposed to the concept of infertility and is probably half the reason we are all so shocked by it. Young girls need to be educated on this topic.
Good Luck, Hillary!

Melissa said...

I hope it goes well and I hope they can learn from you and your struggle. It sounds like a really fun, sleepless weekend! We had things like that at our grade school-sleepovers with moms (it was a lutheran school) but everything was God-oriented. So it was fun, but God was the focus. :)

KandiB said...

I think it's great that you're willing to go out on a limb and share with them. It's not so much about the mechanics (why "it" isn't working), but how you handle the disappointment and frustration and sadness that comes along with IF. If they can see how you trust in God and his plan for your life, then they can relate that to all the crazy things high schoolers go through in their lives. Plus you're being "real" and honest with them - showing that adults don't always have it together and their lives aren't perfect, either. I'll say a quick little prayer for you. ICLW

Anita said...

Good for you! I totally agree with Mary and KandiB - they can just word it so much better than me :)I look forward to reading how it all went - I'll say a prayer for you!

Anita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anita said...

just in case your wondering... i deleted the previous post because i accidentally posted the same comment twice :)

gringa78 said...

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