Sunday, December 14, 2008

This roller coaster

I was so joyful on Thursday. I felt so much peace with our decision and trusted that God had guided us to it. I actually thought I might just sail through these next 4 months of surgery and waiting for the results. Sure, it would be difficult to wait the 4 months, but at least we could put TTC on the back burner and live like we did prior to last April.

Then I had time to sit and be still.

And in the quiet I thought about our journey....and wondered where it will end.

And some fears started creeping in. I've already imagined that day 4 months in the future when we get the post surgery SA results. I imagined both outcomes, and one would be very difficult.

But I pray that God will strengthen me, and I pray against fear. These emotions are like a roller coaster, yet I will trust him through each peak and valley.

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. " Isaiah 41:10


Anonymous said...

This too shall pass!

This roller coaster ride will have an end...lets just pray that it is the end that we both crave.

Mary said...

Oh, hon. I'm sorry you have to wait that long. It will come faster than you think. And you never may get pg in the meantime. My DH's morphology is at 10% and a 'normal' result is 80%. I have gotten pg twice. I miscarried both times (most likely b/c of my uterus issues)....but I did get knocked up regardless with his low numbers. There is still a possibility that you can get pg before the surgery. And if it takes having the surgery done and then popping them out like the Duggers, then that is what is meant to happen, lol. Hang in there Hillary:)