Thursday, December 4, 2008

Answered prayer

Sorry this might be another long post, but I had some amazing experiences today that I want to share...

Today I went to the dentist for my regular cleaning. We go to a relatively new dentist who opened his own office a couple years ago. His wife is also a dentist who works at another office in town. Apparently he has enough patients now to have her work at his office two days a week, and today his wife cleaned my teeth.

It was my first time meeting her, and she was very nice and friendly. She had heard from her husband that we had bought a house, so we chatted about that and the condo that they had purchased. She goes on to say that the next thing for us must be having kids, right? Fortunately I couldn't really talk since she was polishing my teeth, so I just said a little yes and figured that the conversation will move on.

She then said something to the effect of, "Yeah, too bad that's not always as easy as you would think." Instantly I knew: another IFer! My first real life IFer!

As soon as I could talk I told her that we had been trying awhile, too. We chatted for a few minutes and I learn that she's been trying for two years and they have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility. She was pretty upbeat during the conversation, but part of me wondered if she had been dying for somebody to talk to.

I think I'm going to send her a card with a little note inviting her to talk more if she'd like.

As I was driving to work after the dentist I prayed that God would give me a real-life friend to walk this IF journey with. Not that I don't love you ladies (I do!), but there's just something extra nice about having a person give you a hug. Or cry with you. Or say something while looking you in the eyes... you know what I mean. :)

I did not expect my prayer to be answered so soon, but later that afternoon somebody came by who I rarely see but was in a Bible study with a couple years ago. I happened to be holding a 3 month old baby at the time (sorry, there is just too much background info already in this story to go into that...), so she asked me if holding that sweet baby made me want one of my own.

Now, I can totally understand how hurtful and insensitive comments like that can be to many of us. However, I felt like this was coming from a friend, and sometimes it opens the door for a really encouraging conversation. I told her that we had been trying for awhile and had recently had some testing done that showed it would be difficult for us to conceive.

She very sincerely said how sorry she was, and told me that just this morning she was talking to a co-worker of hers who is also struggling with infertility. Apparently she goes to our church, although I have not met her...and she told our mutual friend that she has been looking for somebody to talk to who understands what she's going through! How amazing is it that this all lined up!

I gave the mutual friend my phone number and email -- we'll see if this other IFer calls me. Even if she doesn't I felt so encouraged by how everything unfolded today.


Anita said...

Hi Hillary,
Thanks for your lovely comment!
I am so excited to know that someone visited my blog - since it's only a few days old :-) It's so great to be able to connect with others going through the same thing!

My Dh has very low sperm count and low motility so i'm really interested to find out how it's goes with the urologist - it sounds very hopeful!

I look forward to getting to know you better and following your journey :-)

Praying you get your BFP soon!

Jendeis said...

I'm so happy that you're meeting IFers IRL. I do think that it helps to have people online and IRL to vent to and go through this stuff.

Have a great weekend!!

I Believe in Miracles said...

That is awesome!! Just think of how God is using you through this journey. Pretty cool, huh?

I've been able to talk to non-Christians about it too. And how my faith has helped me. I've also had a couple friends at church who've gone through it too.

I think an inperson group is great! I know so many people (online) that have benefited so much from it. I've gone to a RESOLVE group (I can't remember where you are, but Sarah's Laughter and Hannah's Hope are Christian organizations that have groups as well, but we don't have one in Boston) and I know other people who've found IF groups at church.


K said...

I found your blog on someone else's blog roll, and it looks like you and I are in the same boat! We have been diagnosed with MFI due to varicocele.
Anyways I wanted to say that we were at the urologist yesterday and everyone else was like 60! And I was the only girl! So it was kinda funny and when I read your blog, I thought I'd share too. You can keep up with us if you want. We are doing our third natural IUI this month.
Good luck to you!

gringa78 said...

I'm so glad you might have some IRL friends who you can talk to. It's amazing how women don't talk about IF to each other very's like this secret, lonely group. What a great idea to reach out to the people around you for support.

kMo said...

Hi. I found your blog through a blogroll on another blog, but I just wanted to let you know that I totally know what you mean about needing IRL people to talk to. I just found a support group through my church and Saturday was the first meeting (for me). Even though everyone has a different story (there were 6 of us there! a record!) it was great to be able to talk about it to women that were going through the same emotions that I was. Hope you find some more women and be able to find the comfort you need.